Hold Fast

by
Tabaqui

16 Lies

Spike shuddered awake, gasping, twisting frantically away from the hands that were on his shoulders.  He growled, feet skidding over the flannel sheets and then there was nothing and he was falling and he hit the floor with a thump that jarred his teeth together.

"Spike?  You okay?"  Xander's voice - Xander's face, peering at him over the edge of the mattress, wide-eyed and Love, safe, you're safe - Spike? Wake up, love, wake up, you're safe -.   Spike just stared back for a moment and then slowly he sat up - pushed up until he was on his feet and crawled back into the bed.  He was shivering and Xander pulled the covers back - got under with him and snuggled close, pulling Spike into the furnace heat of his own body and bedclothes warmed by an electric blanket.

"Love, shhhh, it's all right, it's all right..."  Xander stroked his hair - rubbed his back - and Spike just clung to him, face buried in Xander's neck, trying to sort dream from real - frantically shoving images, memories - sensations - back into the deepest recesses of his mind.

Question fear question, from Derio, downstairs somewhere, and Nightmare, it's all right...Spike? Okay? from Oz.  But Spike couldn't quite articulate a response - couldn't get the nightmare packed away fast enough and Xander's arms tightened around him, just holding as hard as he could

What is that, what, what -   Derio sounded confused - sounded scared - and Spike focused and pushed, forcing every bit of the nightmare down and away and gone.

Initiative.  That's...thought that was...? confusion from Oz, and Xander stroked Spike's back, kissing his hair and his temple, kissing his forehead.

Hasn't dreamed that in a while.  Love, you all right?

All right, I'm - sorry, sorry...   Spike wanted to hit something - wanted to kill something.  He hadn't dreamed of the Initiative...in over a year.  Fucking hell...it's Glory, it's...fucking 'aftermath' but it's getting WORSE, it's...

"Love, it's all right, shh..."  Xander's heart was pounding under his ear, and Spike nodded into his chest, trying to calm himself down - trying not to panic.  There was sunlight behind the curtains - low and mellow gold and Xander smelled of wood and varnish and sawdust.  Smelled as if he'd just gotten home.  There were footsteps up the stairs and the door creaked open and first Oz and then Derio slid into the room.  Derio looked thoroughly spooked and Spike winced inwardly.

"Didn't mean to scare you," he mumbled, and Derio and Oz both came closer, settling on the edge of the bed.

"Not your fault," Oz said, his hand finding Spike's foot under the blankets and squeezing gently.  Derio was looking steadily down at where his hands were playing with a dread and he'd managed to shut the link down to almost nothing.

"Derio?" Xander said, and the man looked up sharply, his black eyes snapping with some emotion.

"That's - Oz told me, before, but...Dios mio, he never...told me...  Did they do that to you too, mi amor?  Did they - fuck -"   Derio clamped his mouth shut, shuddering, and Oz pulled him into a tight embrace. Protect pack outsiders kill them! from Derio.  Fierce but also desperate, because there was no one left to kill - no one left to fight.

Love you, safe, we're safe, it's all right, pack, family.

"Bloody fucking hell..."  Spike felt as desperate as Derio did but for different reasons.  Can't do this, can't go BACK to that - have to know...what this is.   He'd been spending his time lately going around to different places - demon places - and asking questions.  Finding out this and that but none of it made any sense and none of it seemed to have anything to do with what was happening to him.  Something bad, building in the Hellmouth but something bad was always happening there, and it wasn't his problem anymore.  Still our problem, always our problem, half of our family is there and we can't leave them, won't abandon them -

I know, I know, I know!  Just have to get this sorted, just have to - fix this first. No good if I can't think straight...   He deliberately took a deep breath, then another, and pushed himself upright, scooting down the bed a little.  

"Just a nightmare, fiddler, don't let it bother you."  He tugged gently on a handful of dreads - tugged Derio's head over just a little so he could kiss where the fiercely-knit brows made a 'v'.  "Just a left-over.  Happens sometimes."  Derio's hand and Oz's, tight together on Oz's leg, and Xander's hand in the small of his back and he felt the security of their pack as something terribly, frighteningly fragile.  "'Bout time for some dinner, yeah?" he asked, and Oz smiled faintly.

"Sure, time for some dinner."   Love you, safe here, and Oz stood up, pulling Derio with him, out the door and downstairs.  Xander scooted up close behind him and wrapped his arms around him again and Spike sighed and leaned into him.

"Don't hide things, love," Xander whispered.  "Tell me what I can do?"

"I don't know, pet.  I really - don't know.  Gonna find out, though."  Spike turned his head enough to kiss and they just did that for a moment, lost in the link and the sensation and then Xander pulled away just a little.

"You be careful, all right?  I know what you're doing, you know.  Just - watch your back. Or better yet, let me watch it."  Spike had to laugh, and Xander grinned.

"Not as clever as I thought, am I?  No place for you, love, different as you are.  You're still too human for most of 'em.  I'll be careful.  Been careful for almost 150 years - it'll be all right."  Xander studied his face - reached to gently push his hand through Spike's hair.

"Just you make sure of that.  C'mon, I need a shower.  Wanna wash my hair?"

"Want something," Spike murmured, heated look and his hand creeping up Xander's thigh and Xander grinned and pulled him up and out of the bed.

Xander puttered around the house, feeling a little bored.  Oz and Derio were off doing something at the club Oz worked at - tweaking the sound system to some arcane standard only they knew and understood.  And Spike was off...hunting, but not for blood.  Hunting for a way to fix things.  Xander wished he could be with him but over time he'd gotten to understand some things, and this was one: if Spike said it was too dangerous for him, then it was, because Spike knew he could handle himself - had watched him take on vamps and demons and ignorant drunks and vicious not-drunks and win.  So it wasn't something Xander was going to argue about, even if he wanted to.  He'd turned on the radio and done a little laundry and cleaned the bathroom.  Carved for a while on the figure he was working on.  Spike and Derio and Oz, but the way the hyena remembered them from their nights spent on Mt. Rainier.  Fluid, animalistic shapes that twisted around each other - became each other.  Spike complained that Xander wasn't there and Xander just shrugged.  He was making a record of his memories, slowly but surely, in the clean white and green of newly-cut wood and the ashy silver of driftwood and he didn't need himself in the tableaus he was making.

He studied the figures now - about three feet tall, growing upward from a solid base and twining, bending.  Oz's wolf-face lean and open-mouthed, Derio's dreads like a ripple of water, Spike's sharply articulated form like a stooping hawk.   He needed to clean up the details - take a little more of the base out, because he wanted more of a bowl-shape beneath the figures.  But his hands were tired - his fingers getting stiff - and he didn't want to make any mistakes.  He tidied his tools away and swept up bits of wood and dust.  He moved the figure to the corner where his 'in progress' stuff rested under old sheets.  Next to his corner was Spike's desk, and Xander paused for a moment, looking at the notebooks scattered over the surface, and the five heavy, leather-bound journals that were stacked there.  Spike had kept journals since before he was turned.  Obsessively, as a human, less frequently as a vampire but always a few pages here and there.   He'd started keeping a new one soon after Mrs. Kroger's visit, and Xander had seen him in the grey light of dawn poring over his old journals - scribbling feverishly in the notebooks.  Trying to remember - to fix it all in his head and let none of it go.

         

"Come to bed, love," Xander had said, and Spike had looked up at him, his eyes red-rimmed, the link shut down hard but fear coming through anyway, like a tiny trickle of ice-water.

"When Red did that spell, wolfling forgot himself - forgot his humanity.  What if I... forget YOU, love?  What if I forget...my soul or...my - my -"

"Won't happen, Spike.  It WON'T."  Xander had crossed to him and crouched down beside him - drew Spike's hands into his and held them tight, chaffing the cold fingers between his palms.

"I could HURT you, Xan - I could kill you."

"Not with the link, Spike.  Not with the claim.  It's going to be all right..."

"Gonna be all right," Xander whispered, stacking the notebooks and putting the pens back in the cup - picking up an empty shot glass and taking it to the kitchen.  He rinsed the glass out, swaying a little to the music on the radio.  A singer he didn't recognize, music that sounded like something from Manny's 'war years'.

"If the moon turns green and shadows get up and walk around
And clouds come tumbling to the ground
I wouldn't be surprised...'Cause didn’t you fall in love with me..."

Spike, Oz and Derio were distant hums in the link, pack and safe and love.   Xander put the shot glass in the dish drainer - turned to the fridge and got out a bottle of water and had a long drink.

"If the stars turn blue...and willows that weep begin to sing
And winter changes into spring
I wouldn't raise my eyes...'Cause didn't you fall in love with me..."

The radio fuzzed out suddenly into piercing static that made Xander jump.  He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and hurried over to it, turning the volume down and then fiddling with the tuner, trying to make the music come back.  He got nothing but static, all up and down the dial, and he stared for a moment, perplexed.  No storm tonight, just the usual Seattle drizzle...  Radio's plugged in although I think it wouldn't make ANY noise if it was unplugged...  Antenna broken, maybe?   Xander poked around for another minute but the music didn't come back, so he switched it off.  Weird.  Have to have Oz give it a look when he gets home.   He raised the water bottle to his lips and almost drank but at the last minute color, where no color should be, made him really look at the bottle.

"Oh fuck - what the hell?"  The bottle was filled with something red that Xander refused to identify as blood.  Jesus, I almost drank that!   He held the bottle out at arm's length - tipped it a little.  The contents moved sluggishly, as if half-congealed, and he thought he could smell it - rank and old.  Grimacing, he found the cap and screwed it on - dropped the whole thing into the garbage.  As he did the lights flickered, once and then twice, and went out altogether.

"Oookay," Xander said softly.  He could see fine - there was plenty of indirect light for the hyena from the streetlight half a block away and the light reflected from the city that lit the low-hanging clouds to a soft pewter.  He looked out the kitchen window, his heart beating a little fast now.   The lights were on in the house next door.  He checked out other windows and got the same story; every house on the block was lit up except for their house.  

"Right....check the breaker box..."  Xander needed actual light for this, so he opened the junk drawer and pawed through take-out menus and balls of string - rubber bands, screwdrivers, a couple of Spike's long spiral nails and a baggie of guitar picks for the little 'credit-card' style flashlight they kept in there.  He clicked it on, keeping his eyes half-shut and averted until he could adjust to the brilliant lance of white-blue light.  He went to the back of the house, to the windowless utility room and pulled open the cover of the breaker box.  A minute's flipping switches got him nothing and he sighed and considered going outside, to look at the box where the line came down from the pole on the corner.  Xander put his hand on the back door knob and turned - pulled - and nothing happened.

What the fuck?  It wasn't sticking yesterday, not after I planed the door down a little...   Xander wrenched a little harder but the door didn't move.  He clicked the little light off and shoved it into his pocket - put both hands on the door and yanked, putting all his claim-bought strength into it.   Nothing.  Fuck.   He moved swiftly through the house to the front door, a knot of cold fear blooming in his belly.  That door wouldn't open either.

Damnit.  Okay - calm.  Spike?   He reached out, feeling for Spike and got...void.  That fuzzy blankness of forgetting and that's when the fear slammed into him, kicking his heartbeat up to a gallop and shortening his breath to shallow pants.  Spike - you hear me love?  Spike!   Nothing, nothing, and he closed his eyes and felt for Oz and Derio.  Again - nothing.  A sort of mindless...'we're here' that was the link on autopilot or something, if that were possible.  They were alive, but he couldn't reach them.  

Fuck, okay - calm.  Be calm.  Gotta get out first, in case it's the house -   Xander moved towards the closet under the stairs where the weapons were kept.  As he reached for the little door the whole house boomed, shaking and groaning as if it were a giant waking from some thousand-year sleep.  Xander reeled and fell backwards in the narrow hall, cracking his head against the boards.  The stair-closet door popped and swung slowly open and the radio suddenly went on again, loud and piercingly clear.

               

"I can see what the cost will be...You know I don't need you
I just can't put you down...I can see what it all means to me
Honey I don't need you...I just can't put you down
Can't put you down..."

Something he recognized - Alice in Chains at top volume and he froze for one second then darted to the kitchen and grabbed the radio - yanked the plug out of the wall.  The music kept blaring, scraping on his nerves.  Something white moved in the corner of his vision and he spun, gasping.

"Spike?"

"Nope.  What, you forget me already?"  The radio died - the lights flickered and then came back on with a low buzz and Xander flinched - stared.  Black hair, dark eyes.  Pointed chin and long legs.  Jesse, exactly as he was the night Xander had dusted him and he felt something worse than fear - felt the hideous twist of guilt and shame.

"Jesse?  Jesse - what -"   Xander slowly put the radio down - took a cautious step forward.  Spike?  Oz!  Derio, damnit - can you hear me?  This is getting fuckin' weird -

"Hey, Xander.  Sorry about all that.  Happens sometimes." Jesse grinned at him, and Xander grinned back.  He couldn't not.  This was Jesse, who he'd shared a thousand secrets with, and every comic he'd ever bought, and his crush on Theresa Hart in seventh grade and his crush on Buffy...   This was family, like Dawn and Tara were - like Giles and Ethan might become.

"Oh - god.  Jess?  How - how did you -"  Forgetting Jesse was dead - forgetting that he'd been a vampire before that - Xander took three fast steps forward, his hands going out to touch - to hold - to confirm.  They passed through air that seemed to faintly vibrate - to faintly cling in a way that made Xander shiver.

"Oh, you're not -"

"Not corporeal.  Bet'cha didn't think I knew a word like that, huh?"  Jesse laughed and Xander stepped back, leaning on the kitchen counter and crossing his arms - hugging himself.

"What are you doing here, Jess?  I thought...  I saw you die."

"You made me die, Xan-man," Jesse said, his voice flat and a little cold, and Xander nodded slowly.

"I - know.  I know I did.  Jess, I'm -"

"Hey, buddy, don't sweat it. I was evil, you know?  Luring you and Buffy to certain death...except it didn't really work out that way, did it?"  Jesse walked over to the table, examining the scatter of things there: a pack of dog-eared cards with a blood-stain on the Ace of spades, a handful of guitar strings still in their little paper packages, sheet music with notation scribbled on it in Oz's scratchy script and Derio's tiny, perfect Copperplate.   Xander's tool-belt, a fan of loose change, an overflowing ashtray.  

"So, you're up here in Seattle now...left the Hellmouth - left Willow."  Jesse looked up from the cards, frowning a little, and Xander nodded again.

"She's not there, though.  She -"

"Yeah, I know.  She got with the mojo - got all Freddy Kruger or something, huh?"  Jesse shrugged - walked back over to stand opposite Xander.  "I'm not here to...accuse you of anything, Xan."

"Why are you here?  Why not - before?  Why now?"  Xander reached in the link again and got the same maddening blanks.  Damnit!  Maybe it's not them - maybe it's 'cause Jesse is here...maybe it's me...  Fuck, I hope Spike doesn't freak out...  

"Well, mostly I'm here 'cause I wanted to see you.  See...how you are.  See what's happened with you since, you know -"   Jesse mimed staking himself and Xander looked away.  "Dude, I told you - I'm not here to accuse you!  I needed to be killed - I was evil and had to die."  His voice was sing-songy, too light, and Xander looked sharply at him.

"But you might not have been. I've - learned a lot of things since then.  I can see things now, Jess - it's amazing..."   Xander told him, in the most edited version possible, of his encounter with Jack, and his gift.  Jesse listened, frowning, and when Xander was done he shook his head.

"Now that, see, is why I'm here.  What's the deal, Xander?  You're a human.  Why do you live with a vampire and two werewolves?  I mean, I'm not even gonna go into the whole 'gay now' thing, 'cause - TMI!  But - why are you taking their side?"

"Side?  It's not about sides, Jess!  If anything, Spike is taking my side!  And you knew Oz just like I did.  What were we gonna do - kill him?  He's Oz, he's...family!!"  Xander pushed his fingers back through his hair, incredulous.  "I love them, Jess, and they love me.  And we've done - a lot of things - a lot of good.  Saved the world a time or two."

"Well, that's true.  But you're still making exceptions.  Vampire - evil - soulless, remember?  That's why you shoved a stake through my heart, Xander!  That's why you killed me."

"I didn't know, Jess!"  Xander wished he could take Jesse and shake him - hold him - and his hand reached out, but then he pulled back, remembering the wrongness that he'd felt.  "I mean - all that happened so fast!  We met Buffy and a week later I'm fighting for my life with - with vampires!  Fuck, man..."  Xander looked up at the ceiling for a moment, taking a deep breath, calming down.  "I see things differently now, Jesse...  I'm - sorry."

"Yeah, sorry.  I'm sorry too, Xander.  Sorry you didn't give me a chance to prove if I was evil.  What if I had a soul just like your Spike?  What if I could have saved the world?"  Jesse seemed to be getting angrier, and the lights flickered, strobing.  He was pacing now, and in the stuttering light his movements became jerky and uncoordinated - out of synch.

"It's really too bad you couldn't have waited, huh, Xan?  But you just did what you were told, killed your best friend...  And now some...freak gives you this gift?  This seeing?  And you trust it - you listen to its lies and you trust what you see and now you're fucking a vampire!"  Jesse was screaming - was right up in Xander's face and suddenly the house shook again, groaning rumble of something massive and ancient reverberating through the air.  The bulbs in the ceiling light popped, scattering glass over the floor and into Xander's hair.  The lights in the living room did the same and the radio blared back to life; hissing static, overlapping layers of screams, groans, shrill screeching like metal being dragged over metal.  Jesse seemed to distort, wavering in the air like a heat-mirage and Xander darted away, running through the living room to the front door and trying desperately to wrench it open.

SPIKE!  Spike, fuck - PLEASE - need your help - Oz - Derio!   Nothing, nothing, nothing, and Xander stumbled backwards - looked at the window that led out to the front porch.  Go right through it - probably won't get cut too bad -

"You betrayed me, Xander!  You chose those things over your human family - you chose them over Willow!"  Jesse was roaring - stretching, warping, becoming something else, and Xander stared, horrified.  "Something's coming, Xander - something that's worse than anything you've ever seen - ever heard of!  It's coming and it's going to swallow the Hellmouth whole and their blood will be on your hands!"  The apparition lunged for him, face distorting grotesquely and teeth lengthening to fearsome proportions as it morphed into a twisted parody of a vampire.  Xander flung himself aside and the thing screeched, the house shaking and seeming to settle on its foundations with an audible thump.  Then utter silence and Xander lay on the floor where he'd thrown himself, panting, shivering violently.

Fuck, not Jesse, couldn't be Jesse, oh GOD, oh fuck, please - please -  There were footsteps, rapidly approaching, and then a splintering crack and Spike was through the door, shouldering its remains aside and swooping down on him - gathering him close.  The link suddenly snapped open, flooding him with XANDER! Coming, coming - fucking crazy, coming! from Oz and Pack, family protect protect protect from Derio.  But best - most wanted - was Spike.

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I've got you, love, I've got you, you're safe, it's all right, safe, safe, family all safe...

In the kitchen, the radio came back on, the same song that had been playing when it had all started and Xander knew that it was - something's way - of telling them it wasn't through.

"If the moon turns green and rivers begin to flow up stream

And this is all a crazy dream, I wouldn't be surprised...

'Cause anything can happen...If you can fall in love with me..."

"So did anything happen to you guys?"  Xander was standing over the trashcan, his head bent down so Spike could make sure there was no more glass in his hair from the lightbulb.    Derio was using a pair of pliers on an unplugged lamp to get the broken stub of a bulb out of the socket and Oz was sweeping up the glass in the kitchen.   Spike ran his fingers through Xander's hair one more time.

"All clear, love," he said, and Xander stood up, smiling faintly - caught Spike's hands in his, frowning.  Spike glanced at his raw, bloody knuckles and cursed silently.

"What happened, Spike?"  Spike shrugged, looking away, and Xander reached out and put his fingers on his jaw - turned his head back.  "Love?  Please tell me.  Was your - was it solid?  I couldn't touch - Jesse."  The hurt and guilt in the link made Spike sigh, and resign himself to telling everything.  He hopped up on the counter behind him and pulled Xander close between his thighs.

"No, mine wasn't any more solid than yours - I took a swing and hit a wall, is all.  It - whatever it was - looked like Angel."

"Oh."  Xander leaned into him and Spike hugged him.  "What - did it say?"

"Bunch of lies," Spike said, too quickly, and Xander looked up at him.  "All right, pet, maybe not all lies.  Seemed to know a bit about me - 'bout my past and what I've been doing..."  

Pack safe, Derio thought, and there was a tinge of hysteria to that.  Oz propped the broom in the corner and crossed to him - pulled a chair up close so he could put an arm around him and kiss his hair.

"Yeah, we're safe.  We saw - well, up on those screens at the club?  There were all these...images.  These..."  A sudden, disjointed flow of pictures through the link and Xander and Spike both flinched.  The family fighting and losing.  Those still in Sunnydale being hunted down and imprisoned - tortured and tormented and used.  The world becoming a pit - a hell - and all of it starting from a Hellmouth that gaped like the maw of Leviathan.  A creeping plague of misery and death that rolled out from one place, unstoppable.  And their family - Buffy - paraded bloody and broken before the hordes as the bringers of it all - the champions who had lost and doomed the world.    

"Jesus Christ," Xander whispered faintly, and they all huddled there in silence.  Derio had his head on Oz's shoulder and Oz was whispering - rubbing his neck.  Spike felt the fear and despair in the link - the guilt and confusion - and he shook his head, snarling.

"No, no.  We're not giving in to this, hear me?  This bloody spook wants to scare us and beat us down - wants to make us too afraid to fight.   Not going to happen."  FAMILY.  We're here, we're together, we're STRONG.  Pack - family - nest.  Love you ALL.  Spike flooded the link - pushed the black mood and his own fears - his own nightmares - aside and let his love, his pride, his need and his desire - his wanting - roll over his family like a wave.  Pull them under, inundate them, fill them and send them back to the surface, buoyed up by everything he felt, everything he was and everything they made him.  Xander's arms came around him and hugged him hard, and Oz pulled Derio up and they crowded close, affirming the emotion through their fingertips and their noses and their mouths.  After a few minutes the desperation went out of them and they just rested there against each other.

"It all seems to be - centering - on Sunnydale.  We need to talk to Tara and Buffy," Oz said finally, and Xander nodded against Spike's neck - pulled back a little, wiping his eyes.

"Yeah, you're right.  They might have already heard this - might have a handle on it."

"Bit late for calls - we'll do it in the morning, yeah?"   Spike wanted close family never leave and the hyena and wolves all wanted den nest safe together.   They spent the rest of the night on the pull-out bed, just being together.  Strengthening their bond, soothing each other and trying to rest.

Spike paced, smoking too much and feeling like he wanted to gut something.  It wasn't helping Derio, who kept shifting a little to the wolf and back, and it wasn't helping Xander, who was trying to find Buffy.  Oz just watched, one hand on Derio's back, rubbing in soothing circles, and calm, we're safe, calm, calm, like honey being poured over their souls.

"Okay Manny - I appreciate it.  Thanks."  Xander hung up and shook his head - sighed - and Spike ground out his cigarette and went to sprawl beside him on the couch.  "She called in sick today - I don't know what the deal is.  Dawn's not answering, but she should be in school so she better not be answering, and Tara might be in class too...   Maybe we should call Giles?"  Xander twitched ever so slightly as Spike tugged at his arm and then he gave in and slumped over, his head on Spike's shoulder.

"Let's give it a little time, huh Xan?  See if she calls back."  Oz's voice was as slow and soothing as his mental chant and Xander nodded, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, okay.  We'll -"   Then the phone rang.  Xander snatched it up - turned it on.  "Hello?  Buffy, thank god -"

"Xander, there's trouble.  You've got to come back to Sunnydale."  Xander looked up at the others, and Spike saw the dismay on his face - saw the shock and the worry and then saw, with a sinking feeling, the resolve.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.  Damn pit is gonna drag us back no matter what we do.  This had better be something real.  Fucking Hellmouth.  Not gonna get my family.



_______________________



Paul Whiteman - If the Moon Turns Green

Alice in Chains - Put You Down

17 Discoveries

Spike stood at the back door, watching the sun set.  The sun itself had sunk behind a narrow band of clouds and the intervening buildings, and posed no danger.   The sky was shifting from azure and crimson and saffron to plum and pomegranate and old, mellow gold.  Xander was behind him, warm as the sun, solid; his arms were tight around Spike's ribs - his chin rested lightly on Spike's shoulder.  Oz and Derio, in much the same pose, stood beside them and the link - for the moment at least - pulsed with contentment and love and family pack family, heart-beat deep and strong as bone.  The van and the truck both stood ready at the curb - the house was shuttered, turned off, closed down.  Going back.  They were going back.

Love you so much, from Xander, that internal petting that soothed even the demon.  We're going to be fine.  Going to come home soon.

Promise me, love, promise me...   Spike couldn't even finish that thought, and Xander's arms tightened around him - held him somehow closer.

Never leave you, never let you go.

Protect protect protect...love you all, and that was Derio, whose emotions were stronger in the link than Oz - more volatile.  A creature of the heart and he'd already apologized for it again and again, until they'd pounced and held him down and overwhelmed him with their own feelings.  

"It'll settle, you'll see,"   Spike had told him, and he'd sniffed and nodded - hugged the vampire hard, struggling to control what he put through the link - struggling and failing until Oz showed him some of the meditations he'd learned.  It helped - enough to make Derio relax and not worry so much about being too loud - too much for them.  

The colors of the sky had deepened further - ash and bruise-blue and the sullen red of a banked ember.  The moon was to the right of them, new and thin as a sickle-blade, and a few bright stars could be seen against the glow of city lights.   Mid-October and the air coming in the open door was edged with frost, heavy with recent rain.  The scents of the water - of woodsmoke, wet earth, and the cinnamon-clove spice of dead leaves - was intoxicating and Spike breathed it all in - felt a wrench in his heart as if it were alive.

Won't be like this there, won't be like this at all...don't want to go, don't want to go...   He knew he sounded like a petulant child but he couldn't help it.  Even the gaping hole that Dawn and Tara's absence had made couldn't make him want to go.   Xander pressed his mouth to Spike's jaw - rubbed his cheek slowly back and forth, murmuring in his ear.

"It'll be all right, love, it'll be all right...  Promise we'll be extra-careful."

"Sorry, Xan," he whispered, miserable, and the Oz-Derio huddle shuffled closer, leaning into him - into Xander - adding heat and weight and strong arms, adding safe love you pack pack pack.

"Won't let any sodding thing happen to us, yeah?  We'll come home soon."

"Dios travesia protect us," Derio murmured, and don't take them off, never take them off. Xander's fingers went up to the beads Spike still wore, green and black for the warrior-loa.  Spike could, very faintly, feel the similar beads Xander wore pressing into his back; creator-loa for his boy, frisson of power that made them that much more, in the link and out.

No, never take them off, Spike thought, and he sighed.

"We should go.   Twelve hours to Point Reyes," Oz said, and Derio murmured agreement.  They were going to take the coast roads down - stop somewhere in Point Reyes Park as close to the shore as possible and have one more night that was just them, just family.  One more night of peace.

Going now...we'll be back soon...  Xander thought, comfort for them all and Spike finally turned and took his gaze off the horizon - off the beloved Waterway and the wooded ridges, the miles of shoreline that the family had explored under the silvering moon-light.

Going now.    Spike pulled Xander close again - kissed him lingeringly.  

"Back in a week or so, Spike," Xander said, sad in the link but hopeful as well and Spike had to smile at him - at his eternal optimism and the stubborn, unflinching loyalty that wouldn't let him abandon his friends.  "Say me a travel-poem, Spike.  Do you know any?" Xander asked, and Spike thought for a moment, then nodded, finding something pretty for his boy even if his heart wasn't in it.

"There is something in the autumn that is native to my blood - touch of manner, hint of mood; and my heart is like a rhyme, with the yellow and the purple and the crimson keeping time. The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry of bugles going by.  And my lonely spirit thrills to see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills. There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir; we must rise and follow here, when from every hill of flame she calls and calls each vagabond by name."

The bone-deep disturbance that was the Hellmouth came over them ten miles out and Spike stiffened in the seat beside him - clenched his fingers down tight on his knees and Xander flinched, too.  Living on the Hellmouth, you got used to it.  He wondered if he'd ever get used to it again.

Be okay, he thought at Spike, and Spike sighed and shifted - leaned over into him a little and just rested there.  His misery was palpable in the link for all his efforts to lock it down and for the hundredth time Xander wondered if he was doing the right thing.  But his conversation with Buffy kept coming back to him, and he knew he'd had to come. Had to.

"Xander - it's bad.  We haven't heard from Giles in two weeks.  And all kinds of freaky things are happening here...  Dawn and some other kids were attacked at the school - there were these...ghosts or something.  And I've been having dreams...  Girls are dying, all over the world.  Girls who are - who could be Slayers.  Something is hunting them down and killing them and I'm SEEING it, Xander, every night.  Angel - said he would help.  Said he'd look into prophecies, stuff like that.  And Anya - she's doing what she can with her demon contacts.  But I need you here, Xander.  And I need Spike.  I don't know what's going on but...  It's big.  Bigger than I can handle alone."

That admission right there had scared Xander, even if he wouldn't own up to it.  Buffy - had never wanted back up.  Had always seen her role as the Slayer clearly - a role she had to play alone.  And she'd hated dragging her friends into her life of death and danger, and she'd hated not being enough when she'd failed, and people had died.  For her to admit she needed help - for her to have called Angel - called him - and asked for Spike...  Made him go cold.

"I talked to Wesley - he can't raise anybody on the Council.  It's - all wrong.  And these girls that I'm dreaming...they're dreaming ME, Xander.  They're dreaming me and they're coming to find me and...I don't know what to do with them!  They're so YOUNG, and they're not Slayers - they don't have any power.  I’m so afraid - god, I'm so afraid they're all going to die.  Please come - please help us.  We need all of you, Xander...please."  

So back to the beginning, back to the nexus of it all and Xander was hating every mile they put between themselves and their home - was hating every minute that he had to sacrifice to an uncaring universe.  And down inside, where he wouldn't admit it and where he refused to let Spike or Oz or Derio see, he was utterly terrified.  Spike turned his head a little and kissed his neck - kissed his jaw and then settled again, the link tight-strung and Oz somewhere behind humming his chant into it, doing his best to keep them all calm and together because that flying-apart feeling of Spike's was getting worse, and the Hellmouth vibe was pushing them all over the edge.

He'd even called Manny, to just ask - to see if there was anything he should know, and Manny had told him they were shutting down - packing up.  When the city had begun to rebuild the high school on the old, bombed-out site he'd flatly refused to be a part of it and now he was selling out, and taking every last member of his family with him
               
"Something's coming, filho.  Something bad.  We can all feel it, we demons.  Everyone's leaving however they can.  You shouldn't come back, credo.  You should stay far away."

But he couldn't, and even with the soldier telling him to cut his losses and get out, and the hyena so on edge he had to struggle for control, he was going back.   Spike put his hand on Xander's where it rested on the gear-shift, slight pressure and slow rub of his fingertips.

My knight in patchwork armor...I love you more than I've loved anything in my long life, Xan, and I will do anything to make sure we come out of this alive.  Anything.  Don't stand in my way, love, don't try and stop me.  It's down to family now and nothing else.

I understand.    I really do, vampire-mine.  But you have to help me, love.  I can't do this alone.

Never leave you alone, my love, my own. Never.    

The 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign loomed in the headlights and for once Xander gave in to the devil's voice in his mind and he rammed it, full speed.  Spike laughed.

Buffy's house was lit like a Christmas tree and they all sat for a moment in their vehicles, just staring at it.  Then they got out, stretching a bit, feeling anxious.  Spike lit a cigarette and tugged Xander close to him, shivering a little and Xander slipped his arm around him and hugged.  Then the door was slamming open and Dawn was pelting down the steps - across the lawn - launching herself straight at them, babbling a mile a minute and hugging Spike, then hugging Xander so hard he gasped for breath.  

Family pack family home home home, from all of them, feeling a missing piece slot neatly into place as Dawn once again entered the link, a formless joy coming from her that made them all smile.

"You came!  Oh, god, you came!  I'm so glad, I missed you so much - I've been going crazy without you guys here!  It's been getting really creepy, it's been - Oz, your hair is so cool!  Oh god -"   Dawn finished off with Derio, kissing him soundly on the cheek and then she stood there, panting, staring at them.  Brothers love happy happy happy in the link, stronger than before.   "Well, come on!  Don't just stand there, come in!  You're not gonna believe this -"     Dawn bounced up the sidewalk, grinning, chattering about sleeping arrangements and grocery runs and they just followed her, bewildered.  Went inside and Spike grinned when it was clear his invitation was still in place.  Then his grin faltered because there was....something...

What the hell?  What's...   Xander was standing very close, feeling the tension through the link - tension that was seeping out to Oz and Derio and they all just stopped, staring.  There were sleeping bags everywhere.  Duffels, backpacks, heaps of laundry.  An overpowering girl smell that was fruity and sweet and medicinal and under all tinged with blood.  And that tickle - that little twitch...

"Hey, guys," Buffy said, coming out from the kitchen and Spike blinked at her.  She was thinner than before - dark circles under her eyes.  Behind her was a crowd of girls and they were all giving off the same low-watt buzz that Buffy projected in spades.

"Christ, Slayer, you said...  I didn't expect this," Spike finished softly, and Buffy smiled a little.

"Even I can feel it," she said, and walked over to them - reached out and pulled Xander into a Slayer-strength hug, almost lifting him off his feet.  "Thanks for coming," she whispered.  Xander hugged her back.

"No problem, Buffy."  Buffy drew back - looked at Spike for one long moment.

"Don't even think about it, Slayer," he snapped, and her eyes went wide and then she started laughing.

"Oh, god, I've missed you, Spike!"  She shook her head and grabbed Oz and Derio, hugging them too, then she turned to the girls who were hovering in the doorway still.  Dawn was off to one side, looking expectant, exuding amusement and a sort of smugness.

"Girls - these are...  Well, these guys are family."  Spike felt the shock of that through the link and glanced at Xander, who was staring at Buffy, smiling

Family.  God...she really...

Seems so, pet.  Good on her, yeah?

"This is Xander, and Oz, and Derio..." Buffy continued, pointing.  They all nodded to the girls, Derio slipping his arms around Oz, still disturbed in the link from the Slayer-buzz that was too strong in the house.    "And that's...Spike."

"And he's a vampire."   A girl - dark-haired and intense looking - stepped forward.

"Yup.  He's one of the nastiest vamps you'll ever meet."  Buffy grinned sideways at Spike, who snorted.

"Why, Slayer.  Didn't know you cared," Spike smirked, and the girl frowned.

"What the hell is he doing in the house?"  Spike watched the girl - felt the shiver of energy off of her and he shot a sardonic look at Buffy, one eyebrow going up.

"So - these are the Slayer-wanna-be's, yeah?"

"Potentials, and even if I'm not a full-fledged Slayer it's still my job to dust vamps."  The dark-haired girl moved forward, bristling, a stake appearing in her hand and Spike barked a short laugh.

Fuck.  What does this little idiot think she's doing, exactly?

I dunno, but Buffy looks like she's about to explode.   Xander leaned back against the door-frame and Oz and Derio walked casually over to Dawn, getting her to sit down on the couch with them.  Oz looked - a little baffled.

They seem pretty tightly wound.  Didn't Buffy say - anything?  About - us?

Guess we'll find out, wolf.   Spike puffed on his smoke, tracking the girl's slow stalk.  The other three girls - all looking about sixteen or younger - watched nervously from the doorway.  Buffy had a smile on her face, a sort of 'you're gonna eat crow' smile that Spike rather liked.

I'm thinkin' this girl is a pain in the Slayer's arse.   Spike blew a stream of smoke at the girl, who flinched a little.

"Your job?  Your job is stay out of my way, snack-pak.  You've got a lot to learn."

"My name's Kennedy," the girl snarled.

"Don't actually care.  Slayer - you need her or can I -"   Spike vamped, grinning, and there was a collective gasp from the girls.  Kennedy's hand flexed around her stake and she shot a quick look at Buffy.

"You just let him in here and then - you're just gonna -"

"You're the one who keeps telling me you wanna see some action.  Go on and get some," Buffy said, and Spike snickered at the little twist of utter bitch in her voice.

Oh yeah, BIG pain in the Slayer's arse.   "C'mon then, sweet.   I'll bet you're a real goer, when you get started...wanna give me a try?"  Spike did his best leer - his best bedroom voice and Kennedy screeched and flew across the room, stake raised.  Don't even really feel like playing, he thought.  He neatly sidestepped the girl and snatched her around the throat - brought her up sharply, one arm going up between her breasts and holding her shoulder in a vise-like grip, the other tangled in her hair, yanking her head over hard.  Her stake-arm was trapped under his and she was tight against his body, her throat inches from his fangs.  He carefully took his cigarette out of his mouth, trying not to singe her hair because god!  the stink of that.  He lowered his mouth - let the tips of his incisors prickle over the thunder of arterial blood.

"What'cha think, Slayer?  Thumb up or thumb down?"

"Hey!  Don't!  Buffy, please - "   A blonde girl turned to the Slayer, her mouth wobbling, and Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Sheesh, Eve.  I'm not gonna let him eat her.  Much."  Spike grinned - grazed the fear-clammy skin with his teeth and held the girl against her buck of sheer, mindless terror.  Then he pushed her hard away, dragging the stake from her hand and snapping it in two.

"Your job is to die if you don't get a whole fucking lot better, wanna-be.  You've got a job on your hands with this lot, Slayer."

"Son of a bitch!" Kennedy touched her neck and then looked in horror at the blood on her hand.  She ran upstairs, followed by Eve and a black girl.  Another girl - tall and thin and with a look of toughness about her, stayed in the doorway, arms crossed.

"Wow.  So - you're Spike," she said, and Spike looked at her.  "I'm Amanda."

"Another wanna-be, I take it."  He pinched the butt out and pocketed it, ignoring the little wince that got from the girl.

"Potential is the PC term," Dawn called, and Spike laughed.  The tension in the room eased a bit and he reached out for Xander's hand and tugged him over to the couch - pushed Dawn into Oz and sat down, dragging Xander half onto his lap.

"What's going on, Buffy?  These are the girls you've been dreaming about, right?  I thought - you were gonna send them on their way?"  Xander squirmed around so he could face Buffy and Spike made a low growling noise, nuzzling into Xander's hair.

Stop that, evil undead.  Let me talk.

This place is gettin' on my nerves, love.

I know.  Sit tight, okay?    Xander caught his wandering hands and held them tight and Spike gave in and just hugged him close.

"I wanted to - I tried to..."  Buffy sank down into a chair and sighed, elbows on knees.  "They just keep coming.  One of them...Annabelle...  She got really spooked after...  Well, after they were attacked.  She ran and...they got her."              

"Who got her?" Spike asked, and Amanda came to sit on the floor next to Buffy, back straight.

"These nasty little troll-guys," she muttered, and Buffy shook her head.

"They're - they're called Bringers.  They're these guys all in black.  No - eyes.  It's kinda gross.  They're the things that have been killing the girls in my dreams.  And - Annabelle.  They were around before.  When..."  Buffy sighed, and looked down at her hands for a moment.  "When Angel tried to kill himself, it was the First Evil.  It had these - Bringers.  They're back.  It is back.  That's what's been making all this freaky stuff happen and...  It was the First that was in your house, Xander.  It can look like - anyone dead.  It looked like..."

"It looked like mom," Dawn said, tiny voice, and Oz slipped his arm around her, hugging her.

"You all right then, Bit?" Spike asked, and Dawn nodded.  

"It said some pretty - freaky stuff."  Buffy looked at her sister, sympathy and anger warring in her expression.  "It was scary but we figured out it was just lying.  Trying to trick us.  Like it did to Angel.  Like Jesse - like the fake Jesse did to you, Xander."

"Fuck," Xander muttered, and Spike thought about the Angelus he'd talked to, down on the docks.  The Angelus that had, at first, made sense.  Had been so perfect that he'd...  Well, nothing to dwell on now.

"So - any clues about how to take it out?" Spike asked, and Buffy shook her head.  

"We were hoping Giles would...  But we can't find Giles, and the Council seems to have just - vanished and even Willow isn't communicating.  It's like - we're all alone."

"No - not alone," Xander said softly, and Buffy smiled at him - at them all.

"No - not anymore."

The sound of a car outside and thundering footsteps on the stairs made them all look up as the Potentials came back down.

"Groceries," Amanda said, standing up and moving towards the door with the rest and Dawn groaned and stood also.

"They've got some super-strength - I should be exempt from heavy lifting, I'm the brains!" she moaned.

"Solum in somniis, Niblet," Spike said, and Dawn made a face and trooped out.

"What did you say?" Buffy asked, and Spike smirked.

"Basically, 'in your dreams', Slayer," he answered, and she laughed

"She's doing good with the Latin - she's been keeping up with it.  And Greek and couple of demon languages she tells me are the Swahili of the demon world, whatever that means."

"Means most everybody speaks 'em," Spike said, but he wasn't paying attention to Buffy anymore and neither was anybody else.  Spike felt the surge of recognition and joy in the link and then the four of them were off the couch and across the room, crowding as close as they could get to Tara, who stood there with a string-bag of oranges in her hands and tears in her eyes.

Greenwitch lightwitch mother Glinda love you love her keep always keep...   Spike knew Tara wasn't part of the link but he also knew she could see their auras, and the way she looked at them - the fierce clutch of her arms around them - told him that some sense of their feelings - of her belonging was known to the lovely woman who made them all feel as if they'd finally come home.

"God, Tara - missed you," Xander murmured, brushing her cheek with his hand.  Oz kissed her other cheek, his eyes shining with happiness and Derio hugged her from behind, taking in a deep breath of her scent of nutmeg and clean earth, dill and thyme and lavender.  Spike simply gathered her up in a hard hug, lifting her off her feet and burying his face in her hair and he felt her lips on his jaw for a moment.

"Oh - I can't believe - you're really here -"  She wobbled, set back on her feet, and wiped at a stray tear and then the Potentials were pushing through the door, loaded down with groceries and Kennedy was scowling at Spike.  He vamped, snarling at her then turned his back and they all led Tara to the couch - made her sit down and then grouped themselves around her.

God, missed her - need her back.  This has to change, have to fix this - when we kill this First she has to come home with us, Xander thought, and Spike took his hand, squeezing gently.

Do our best, pet, he thought, and there was silent agreement from Oz and Derio.

"Have you been here long?  Has Buffy t-told you everything?" Tara asked, smoothing her skirt and taking Oz's hand and Xander's and Buffy laughed.

"You guys look like some old-fashioned family portrait."  She cocked her head to one side and a slightly wistful look came into her eyes.  

"Family, Slayer.  You know what that's like."

"Yeah....I guess I do," Buffy said, glancing over at Dawn who was gathering shampoo and toilet paper and other things to take to the upstairs bathroom.  "No, they've only been here a half hour or less, Tara, and I haven't had much chance to -"   A knock interrupted her and she frowned - stood up and went to the front door.  "Who in the world -"   She opened the door and Spike caught a glimpse of two pale, girlish faces and then - glint of steel and glass and Buffy was just standing there, frozen.   Then flung herself forward, shouting 'Giles!'


__________________


filho - son


credo - loved one


Bliss Carman - A Vagabond Song


Solum in somniis - Only in dreams

18 Plans

They didn't sleep that night.   The Potentials, including three new ones that Giles and Ethan had found, were shown the bathroom, introduced and then shooed into the living room where they talked quietly with the others, TV on, shooting looks into the kitchen that 'The Scoobies' ignored.  Xander eyed the close quarters and knew something had to be done about it - but later.  First, they had to talk.  He and Spike and Derio and Oz hauled in lawn chairs from the porch and Buffy gathered up mis-matched dining room chairs that she'd found at a garage sale so they could all squeeze around the kitchen table, knees bumping and elbows poking. Tara and Dawn were firmly set between the wolves and Spike and Xander.  

Dawn had put the kettle on and Giles and Ethan had opened their luggage and were hauling out a huge stash of contraband goodies.

"Jeez!  What'd you guys do, rob a grocery store?" Xander asked, shuffling through various brightly colored boxes and tins.

"We were shopping when - when we had to leave...  Let's get some tea made and then we'll tell you what happened."  Giles sounded tired - depressed - and Ethan stroked his back gently for a moment and then slid something across to Spike.

"Ripper said you liked these," he grinned, and Spike eyed the tube of Jaffa Cakes with barely-concealed delight.

"Ta ever so, Watcher - can't find these here too easy."  He was already picking at the end, undoing them, when Giles opened up a package of tea.  The scent of it filled the air - heavy, smoky, and rich.

"What'dja get, Spike -what's that, Mr. Giles, it smells -"

"It smells nice," Tara said, and Giles smiled at her.

"It's tea, Dawn.  Souchong, to be precise."

"Bring enough to share, then?" Spike mumbled, his mouth full of cake.  Xander snagged one out of his hand.

"Only if you share."

"Oh, plenty for all -"  Giles dumped another armful of things and they spent the next ten minutes fixing tea, getting glasses of milk or juice, and sorting through the goodies.

"Wow, one of you has a sweet tooth," Buffy said, opening a box of Cadbury's 'Heroes' and peering inside at the display of mixed chocolate candies.

"That would be Ripper."  Ethan was opening some crackers and spreading Marmite with gleeful abandon.  Dawn was watching him closely, her new favorite - 'Kipling's French Fancies' - held close to her chest, out of Buffy's reach.   Ethan seemed to be his old self; a little heavier, a little tanned, a sparkle of mischief in his eye.  His magic was back, only now it was a fairly pleasant low-grade tingle that you could feel only when you were very, very close to him.  Nothing like the out-of-control seething that had so set Spike and Derio on edge and Xander was grateful for that

"I was just thinking that you girls would like some treats," Giles said, but his voice was still so tired - so soft.  He only picked at the lavish spread.

"Oh!  Sandwich time."  Oz was looking delightedly at a jar of Green's Mango Chutney and another of Branston Pickle.  "You'll like this, Derio," he added, holding the chutney out for inspection and Derio read the label with interest.  He was nibbling a cracker spread with the strong, salty marmite, trying to decide if he liked it.  Dawn, Tara, Buffy, and Oz had all rejected the spread already.  

"I got some roast beef and stuff at the store."  Tara hastily wiped chocolate off her lips and got up to help Oz raid the refrigerator, and Spike rummaged for his flask and poured a bit in his tea.  Xander had tried it before it was adulterated with whisky and decided he'd like it iced and sugared better.  The looks of shocked horror on the three expatriate's faces had made him laugh.

"Okay, so...we've stuffed our faces - and my god this is good!"  Buffy crunched her last bit of toast and ginger preserve and licked her fingers.  "Now we really need to know what's going on.  First, though - where's Willow?  Is she coming?"

Giles paused for a moment, tea-cup halfway to his mouth.   "Willow...is still with the Coven, Buffy.  She - wasn't ready to leave."

"They wouldn't let her leave," Ethan chimed in, and Giles glanced sharply at him but nodded.  

"So - she's not coming back?  Ever?" Dawn asked, and Giles reached out and patted her hand.

"Now, I didn't say that, Dawn.  She's simply not able to come back yet.  Her magic became very unstable when she -"

"When she killed that guy and tried to kill Xander, yeah.  Is she gonna go to prison?"  Giles blinked at Dawn and Spike chuckled, but Xander could feel the tension from Oz - and his own unease - at the thought of Willow in prison.

Maybe she SHOULD, though...she did murder him -

Him who'd already killed once and tried to do it again?  No, Red-witch got THAT right, if nothing else.   Spike was firm in his opinion that Warren had got what he deserved - had, in fact, lucked out completely because he hadn't suffered anything like what he would have suffered under William the Bloody.    

"Be glad she's not here, Bit.  She's done enough, don't you think?"  

"Spike -" Buffy looked like she wanted to argue - or tell Spike to shut up - but Tara put her hand on Buffy's wrist, stopping her.

"He's right, Buffy.  Even if it's n-not what we want to hear.  She let it - control her and she thought she could ignore the warnings.  H-Here especially - that's d-deadly."

"The coven has, for all intents and purposes, stripped her of most of her magic.  Nothing that wasn't done willingly!"   Giles held his hand up to forestall Buffy and she slumped in her chair.  "They can't actually take her magic away - it's a part of her, just like your powers as the Slayer are a part of you.  But with her consent they - bound her ability to use it.  She's - going back to the beginning and relearning things the way she - she should have.  If I'd had paid attention and taught her."  Giles looked down at his tea-cup, defeat and sorrow evident in the slump of his shoulders, and Ethan leaned into him, comforting silently.

"When were you supposed to do that, Giles?  When the Master was trying to kill us all or when the Mayor was or when Angelus was?   I mean, I can see the huge gaps in your schedule where nothing was going on and you could have spent hours with Willow."  Xander was angry but he struggled to keep the anger at a low level, hating the thought of Giles blaming himself for what Willow had done.

He will NOT feel guilt over this!  Willow didn't have to do any of the things she did and I am NOT going to let him think it's all his fault!

Probably won't change how he feels, love...

I have to try.

"Xander, I...  I may not have had - a lot of free time, but I should have paid more attention -"

"Don't do that, Giles.  Please don't make yourself to blame.  You aren't - none of us think that."  Buffy's voice was soft but Giles flinched as if she'd shouted at him and sighed - looked up at them all.

"I'm afraid I shall always feel - a certain responsibility - for what she did."

"Waste of your time, mate, and you know it.  You got her out of here and away from the family and that's all that matters."  Spike wasn't in the least concerned about Giles' guilt - that was glaringly obvious in the link - but he didn't like Xander's distress - a distress Oz shared.  "And natterin' on about it won't help.  She's not here, can't help us, that's all we need to know.  Why are you two here like gypsies with those girls in tow and about three sets of clothes between you?"  Giles blinked and glanced over at Ethan, who raised an eyebrow.

"He's right, really.  More important things to talk about, Ripper."

"Yes...all right...  Well - you know about the Bringers?  And that - they're killing potential Slayers all over the world?"  The group nodded, settling in to listen.  Xander leaned over into Spike, anticipating the strong arm that came around him and sighing in contentment.  Dawn back in the link, and Tara there and not there, as well - some sort of ripple in the air that wasn't quite the same but that was her, without doubt.  It felt good - felt right - and even the Slayer-buzz had been pushed to the background as the girls had dropped off to sleep and they'd concentrated on other things.

At least Willow's safe,   Xander couldn't help thinking, and Spike pressed his mouth into Xander's hair and kissed him.  Maybe Willow wasn't his best friend anymore, but he didn't want another Hellmouth casualty in his memories, either.

"The Council headquarters is gone and...so are most of its members.  I'm sure there are a few, here and there, who survived but..."  Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes tiredly - rested his forehead on his palm for a moment.  "We have feelers out, contacts in the occult world and...other places.  Hopefully we can find what's left.  For all intents and purposes, the Council is no more.  Even if we start it again - it will never be the same."  He sighed and straightened and put his glasses back on.  The rest of them sat in silence, contemplating his story.  The Council gone, and so many potentials dead...  The Bringers had tried to kill Giles and Ethan, as well, as they'd gathered the three girls they'd known of and fled to the Hellmouth.

Not bad that the bloody Watchers are gone, though.  Bastards have been hounding me and mine for too long.   Spike, of course, would find the blood-red lining in any cloud, and Xander had to smile at him.

"The First believes it will be unstoppable if it kills every member of the Slayer line...  And it could very well succeed if we do not find a solution, and soon.  Its resources, I'm afraid, are vast."  Giles looked around the table and Xander did, as well.  Shock and fear and resignation on all the faces, except for Spike who was carefully blank, smoking a cigarette and leaning back in his chair.  Ethan leaned over and picked up a battered rucksack and upended it on the table.  Several books, manuscripts and loose papers slid out, mixing with the crumbs of McVitie's Dark Chocolate Digestives and Fry's Peppermint Cream wrappers.

"This is all that's left.  Ripper and I - we broke into the Council headquarters two nights before it was destroyed."

"Well aren't you the little Artful Dodgers," Spike murmured, and Ethan grinned at him, his fox-smile swift and toothy and full of glee.

"Oh, since the coven fixed my magic it was laughably easy.  We took everything we could find on the First."  

"This is everything?"  Buffy was poking at the meager pile and Tara had opened a book and was paging through it, frowning.  Dawn leaned over to look and smiled.

"Hey!  I can read that!  In hoc est vera et fidilis fabula...  Herein is written the true and accurate history..."  Dawn frowned and bit her lip.  "...cuius quod non possidit nomen...of that which has no name...  Oh...quod antequam veniebat, quod primum erat. Manui sacra scripta...  of that which came before, of that which is the First.   As recorded by her sacred hand..."  Dawn looked up, eyes wide.  "Wow."  There was a moment of silence and then Giles cleared his throat, making an effort.
               
"Very nicely done, Dawn.  You've been keeping up with your studies, I see."  Giles smiled softly at her, pleased, and she smiled back.

"Yeah.  I call Spike and he helps me sometimes and - and Tara and I have been emailing with Wesley and Fred."

"Wesley?  How nice of him to help.  I don't think I've met this 'Fred' person?"  Giles got up and poured more hot water, fussing with the tea-ball.

"No, Fred's a girl.  She helps Wes and everybody.  She - well, it's a long story but Fred's really smart.  Her and Tara chat for hours."

"Do you now, Glinda?" Spike asked, mouth curling up and eyebrow cocked and the four of them could smell the intense blood-scent as Tara blushed behind her hair.  Her presence - her aura - rippled around them.        

"She was in a h-hell dimension for five years and sh-she's kind of shy so I talk to her.  She's really smart - she knows all about c-chemistry and - and physics and stuff."    Dawn looked over at Spike and mouthed 'crush' at him and Spike winked at her.

"You'll have to invite her up, Glinda, once we deal with this so-called First.  Have her meet the family."  Tara gaped at him and then snatched her own tea-cup and fled to the sink.

Not nice, vampire-mine.

Not BAD.  You know she'd want us to meet her fancy.

You don't know that she - fancies - Fred!   Spike snorted, fishing for another cigarette.

I think she likes this Fred a lot, Oz thought, and Xander sighed, shaking his head but smiling, too.

"Yes, well, perhaps we will get to meet this - Fred person.  Someone from L.A. is going to be coming up in a few days and - and they'll be bringing Faith.

"What?  But she's in prison!"  Buffy hastily lowered her voice after the first loud word, casting a glance into the living room.  The Potentials slept on.

"And Angel is getting her out.  The First can get inside of there as easily as it can anywhere else, and I believe we need as much strength as possible to fight it.  Wesley has...come to an understanding with her, and he was happy to tell me that she very much regrets - everything."

"She'd better," Buffy grumbled, snatching a piece of chocolate-covered honeycomb from the Hero box and biting it in half.

"Now - in further news..."  Giles sat back down and stared at the flask that Spike was holding out - took it finally and poured a large dollop into his tea-cup.  "Thank you.  Oh - Ethan, yes -" Ethan took the flask and did the same, except his tea-cup was empty and he poured quite a bit more.  Spike growled.

"Now - you're all right," Ethan muttered.  He bent over his suitcase again and pulled out a bottle which Spike snatched with a hiss of triumph.

Ah!  Glenfiddich - and Cask Strength!   "Ta, mage," Spike said, cracking the seal.

"In further news," Giles said, a little louder, and Xander snickered.  It was feeling like one of the Scooby meetings from so long ago.  The jangled nerves and frayed tempers and fear that had been a part of their lives since they'd decided to come back were all slowly ebbing away.

We're tired, we're stuffed with chocolate and we're...a little hysterical.  But yeah...feels good.  Oz - who was probably the furthest from hysterical anyone could possibly get - smiled over at Xander, his hand unconsciously twisting one of Derio's dreads between his fingers.

Feels good, yeah.  Family, Derio chimed in, and Xander nodded.

"Ethan and I have discussed this and we have decided that the best people to help us gather up Potentials and surviving Council members, and deal with the Headquarters, would be Drake's family.  In fact - before we left England we contacted Arthur Pembroke - his grandfather - and arranged for him to begin excavating the Council building.  With luck they'll be able to salvage...something."

"How are they going to find Potentials, Giles?" Buffy asked, and Giles smiled slightly.  

"The Council had actually found a spell that could locate them and had been using it.  It was pure luck that I stumbled across it while we were gathering our information on the First.  We used it to find the three we brought with us, and then gave various family members the location of others.  They're so widely spread, really, that it's much easier for them to go where the girls are then to send just one or two people shuttling all over the globe."

"Wow.  So we've got a whole army of people out there...do they know about the Bringers, Giles?  Do they know - they're in danger?"  Giles looked at Xander over the tops of his glasses, and darkman was in that stare.

"I made it quite clear what we were up against.  They are...prepared.  Apparently being an archeologist isn't as - academic a pursuit as you might imagine."

"Hey, don't have to tell me - I watched all the Indiana Jones movies," Xander said, and Ethan snorted softly, grinning.  Spike tipped the bottle of Glenfiddich up and took a long swallow.

"So how many more girls you think we're gonna get, Watcher?" he asked.

"Well - we had...seven, right before we left, not including these three.  And there may be more.  We need to do the spell periodically and make sure we're getting them all."

"Gonna be tight in here," Xander murmured, and Spike sighed heavily.

"Gonna be more than tight.  Right...only one thing for it, then."  Spike pulled out the cellphone Buffy had given him and dialed a number.    Gonna be like a bloody psycho ward in here, is what it's gonna be... he grumbled.  Everyone watched him and Xander shrugged at the questioning look Giles sent his way.

Any idea? Oz asked, and Xander shook his head.

None.

"Know you're not asleep, you wanker - Oi!  Batvamp - Slayer needs a favor."

Angel?  Jesus!

"I know you're gonna be here in a couple of days - that's the point.  Bring the keys an' the deed to the house on Crawford Street, yeah?  Why?  'Cause we need it, that's why...  Can't imagine why you'd want to do that - oh!  Except that you're an ignorant paddy who couldn't give a fuck about -   You miserable fucking bastard -"   Xander snatched the phone from Spike, glaring at him, and handed it to Buffy, who stared for a moment and then took it, wincing as she held it up to her ear.  They could all hear Angel shouting something, possibly in a demon language.

"Angel?  Yeah, it's me.  Uh - well - what Spike said about the house...?"  She looked over at Spike, who raised his eyebrow at her and then took another swallow of the whisky.  "Yeah, we need it."  Buffy got up and went back to the bathroom, presumably for a little privacy, and Xander whapped Spike on the arm.

"Why did you have to get him all pissed off?  He might not let us have the house."

"Don't really need him to bring anything - I've still got keys, and wolfling could rig the electric up in half a mo'.  Just thought I'd -"

"Piss Angel off.  Yeah."  Xander leaned over and kissed Spike hard.  "Smart idea, though.  We'll never fit seven more girls in here."

"What's this house, then?" Ethan asked, and Giles, Xander and Spike all told him, in bits and pieces, the history of the Crawford Street house.  Oz and Derio had got up and were putting various food items away and Tara was washing up cups and spoons.  Dawn, who'd been yawning steadily for a half-hour was now asleep, slumping sideways in her chair and Xander caught her and held her, smiling as she murmured something in Latin and made a funny little 'sleep face'.  The sky outside the windows was starting to lighten when Buffy came back into the kitchen and handed Spike his phone.

"He'll bring the things we need - he said he'd have Cordelia call and get things turned on tomorrow...  They're getting Faith out tomorrow, too - Wesley and Gunn."  Buffy smiled at Xander and Dawn and slumped down into her chair.  "The house is kind of a mess over there.  I look in sometimes...it seems to draw things."  She pushed her fingers back through her hair and rubbed tiredly at her eyes - yawned into her hand.  "We'll need - god - cots or mattresses or something, and - sheets and stuff..."  Buffy yawned again and then Xander did and then Giles, and they all smiled blearily at each other.

"We'll sort that all later, Slayer.  I've got some contacts, and the - and Angel does - we'll get it done."

"It's filthy over there," Buffy said, and Xander laughed.

"This is where my immersion in pop-culture is a benefit.  I know the 'wax-on, wax-off' speech by heart and I'll bet cleaning the Crawford house would be a great way to start training the Potentials."  Buffy stared at him and then laughed, her thin, tired face losing its pinched look, and Xander had to explain The Karate Kid to Ethan and Giles.

"Okay guys - I'm so tired I'm seeing double.  Xander, would you bring Dawn up to my room?  Tara - you can bunk in with us, let Giles and Ethan have your room and - uh -"

"The four of us can share Dawn's room," Oz said, leaning against Derio and blinking sleepily.  "We can always change and sleep on the floor if we have to - all the same to us."

Or squash into Dawn's bed, Spike thought, and even though the mental picture made a hot little flash of want skitter through Xander's groin he immediately squashed it.

No, no, no.  No profaning of Dawn's room or Dawn's bed.  Stop that! he added, when Spike grinned and made a lewd little noise down in his throat.    

"Okay..." Buffy yawned again and Tara patted her shoulder.

"I'm going to go clean up and - stuff," she said, and went slowly away upstairs.  There was a general stirring as everyone got up and Buffy got clean sheets for the beds and Spike lit up a final smoke.

You all right?  You didn't hunt...

Be fine.  Do it tomorrow - well, tonight, really.  Just tired.  Need help?  Xander nodded and let Spike brace him as he pushed himself to his feet, maneuvering Dawn so he could carry her upstairs.  

A half an hour later they were finally settled, the curtains firmly closed and Oz and Derio curled around each other in a nest of quilts from the van.  Spike was on his back, his hand idly stroking Xander's back, unease in the link.

What?

Oh just...   The link flashed with images - Angel, mostly, and Xander caught a bit of what the First had said to Spike in Seattle.

Want to talk about it?

No.  But the Watcher's gonna want to drag every last syllable out, isn't he?   Spike sighed and hugged Xander close - closed his eyes.  Deal with it then.  Go to sleep now, yeah?  Love you...

Love you, vampire mine...

"So he's a vampire with a soul, but not like your soul, his was a curse from some - gypsy sorceress?"  Drake looked fascinated, pen poised over a worn leather notebook, and Spike lit a cigarette and huffed smoke irritably toward the ceiling.

"He's a vampire with a bloody great stick up his arse is what he is.   Don't you want to talk about something else?  Demon-girl was saying you learned a new trick in the bedroom."  Drake blushed beet-red.

"Uh - no.  I mean yes, we did but no, I don't want to discuss it.  Maybe take Anya out for a drink later, she's dying to tell someone and I'd rather it not be my mother."  Cecilia Pembroke and a cousin - some boy about nineteen - were arriving in Sunnydale that evening with a Potential.  His great Aunt Portia Pembroke had already come and gone with a Potential from China who had no English, apparently, but had screamed quite nicely when she'd seen Spike - game-face and snarling - facing off with Kennedy.  Again.  Spike sucked a quarter-inch of his cigarette to ash and contemplated her sourly.  The girl had decided her mission in life was to ride Spike's ass and even though it had only been two days Spike was on the brink of killing her - or at least just making her very, very sorry.  Xander and Dawn and Giles, of all people, had averted catastrophe so far, but Spike's patience - which was already cobweb-thin - was about to snap.  Drake was saying something and he dragged his mind out of a pleasant little fantasy of showing Kennedy just what those spiral nails were good for to listen to the man.

"...Anya insisted on telling me everything she knows about Angelus and his...well, about everything he did before he was souled."

"Did she now?  Tell you anything 'bout me?"  If he couldn't do what he was imagining, at least he could talk about it.

"Ummm...yes."  Drake looked faintly green and Spike chuckled - slung a companionable arm around his shoulders.

"Don't worry, mate - I'm temporarily on the side of the...bloody angels.  So no worries, yeah?"

"Yeah."  Drake sighed and capped his pen - tipped his head a little, listening.  A car was coming up the drive.  

"Well, that's either Anya with more cleaning supplies, my mother, Angel, Buffy..."

"Think that's all that's out," Spike said, wandering over to a window and trying to peer out without getting burnt.  Over the past two days the Crawford house had been cleaned to within an inch of its life, including the windows.  Buffy and Dawn had gone to get more blinds and curtains but there were still some windows left unblocked.    Most of the Potentials were currently upstairs doing a final cleaning in the bedrooms and the three bathrooms - two up, thank Christ, and one down - and Xander, Oz and Derio were in the garden pulling out three or more years worth of dead plants and storm-debris.  'Fire hazard', Oz said, slipping images from two weeks of wild-fire fighting in Colorado into the link.   Giles and Ethan were in the basement; patiently unraveling one of the many spells Dru had left on the house.  Most were warding spells - and they shivered over the family like sparks and silvery ice - but they were tangled and messy.   Dru's reaction to the new house and to Angelus' goading, and she'd splashed her power far and wide.  It made for gaps.

"Slayer it is," Spike mumbled, feeling that twisty little itch in the back of his skull.  If he concentrated, he could tune out the Potentials - they weren't nearly as strong.  A few moments later the two sisters walked in, weighed down with supplies for the windows.  There was a shriek from upstairs and everyone turned their gaze ceiling-ward.

"Guess somebody found something else," Spike said, smirking, and went languidly to see what was what.  The cleaning had unearthed all sorts of things left behind by Angelus, Dru, and himself, as well as the various vamps who'd come with Spike and Dru after the Anointed One had burned, and the other vamps Angelus had made while trying to use first the Judge and then Acathla to end the world.  So far they'd turned up a lot of human remains, some dodgy spell components, a few books that had had Giles running for Holy water and Ethan cackling and rubbing his hands like a mad-man, and a set of vamp-strength manacles that Spike had personally commandeered and had plans for later.

Thank gods there's room enough for us to be private.  Never knew my boy could be so shy.  Xander wasn't actually all that shy, but he knew too many people at the Crawford house and didn't want to have to look Buffy or Giles or, gods forbid, Dawn in the eye the morning after when he'd been screaming for Spike to fuck him now.  Have to ask Glinda to put a little...muffling spell on the room.  Ease his mind a bit and then we'll see what we can do with those chains.  Spike got to the top of the stairs and saw Tara coming towards him holding a small trunk in her hands, an expression of resigned horror on her face.

"Oh, Spike!  Could you - take this?  It's -it's -"   Spike took the trunk, the faint stink of corruption telling him exactly what it was.  More of Dru's 'doll parts'.

"Anything for you, pet.  'Bout done up here?"

Tara smiled wanly and wiped her hair back out of her eyes.   "Yeah, j-just about.  There's a store room at the end of the hall -"

"Best not, pet," Spike interrupted, a sudden memory of what was in there springing to mind.  "Me and Xan'll take care of that later, yeah?"  Tara peered at him and then paled slightly as his words sunk in.

"Oh - yeah, okay.  Th-thanks, Spike."

"Course, Glinda."  Spike tucked the trunk under one arm and reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind Tara's ear.  She looks tired.  Think I'll tell the Watcher she needs to do some research...give her a little break.   Tara had been taking up a lot of slack - she'd confided to Oz that she felt a little useless, because she wasn't a Potential, her classes kept her from doing a lot research or anything else, and she didn't think her magic was actually strong enough to help. Got enough magic in her to crack the world in two if she wanted to, but she never would...  Keep her safe...  

Pack safe, echoed from the garden, all of them in agreement.

"Come down with me, let's get a drink, yeah?  Niblet made some lemonade this morning, looks almost right."  Tara smiled and sighed and nodded, and they headed downstairs.  Spike was going to take the trunk to the back door and let Xander have it - add it to the pile they were amassing in a dry cistern to be burnt later, when the wind died down.

Nearly to the bottom of the stairs and they could both hear voices - footsteps.  Someone else coming, and it wasn't Anya or the mother.  The Slayer-tingle was suddenly off the chart and Spike went reflexively into gameface, snarling.  He dropped the trunk on the stairs and grabbed Tara, shoving her behind him.  The front doors swung open and a dark figure stepped through - swaggering, grinning, and looking ready for a fight.

"Faith," Spike growled, and the dark Slayer looked up at him, eyes narrowing.

"William the Bloody - looks like this is going to be exciting after all."