"Can we do it?"

"Do what, love?" Xander sat up, Spike shifting inside him, more tiny sparks up his spine, down his thighs.

"Can we do the spell? Make it - permanent?"

Spike stared at him, the hands that had been rubbing slowly up and down Xander's back frozen at his shoulder blades. Nothing at all came through the link.

Oh FUCK, didn't think about that at ALL...fuck's sake...what if he says no - bound to say no - damnit, DAMNIT.

"Fuck, Spike - sorry, I'm sorry, I should think first, you don't wanna - "

"Hush, pet." Spike's hands moved again, jerkily - up Xander's back to his shoulders, to his face, cupping his jaw, fingers delicate on his cheeks, thumbs just under his lower lip, pressing lightly.

"Spike, I - "

"Do you - really? Really want to?" Spike asked - whispered - and Xander saw it, saw the look. A look he'd seen in the mirror for years. His own look, so familiar. Hope. Desperate, desperate need. Suddenly the link slammed open as Xander poured everything out - everything he'd been feeling for two years - all of the longing, the loneliness, the need. A rush of emotion that seemed to physically strike the vampire, knock him back in the chair and shake him. Spike took in a hard, shaking breath, and then it was Xander's turn to be knocked back by the flood of emotion so strong it was almost tangible. love love want need always you always want mine mine MINE And they were kissing, each as if the other were the last breath, the last drop of water, the last solid thing in a flood, and Xander felt tears threatening, and felt them, cool and slippery on Spike's lips.

"Oh, we're a pair, we are. Love you, Xander. We can do it, anytime. Anytime you want."

"Love you. Fuck." Xander wiped at his face - used his thumbs to wipe the moisture off of Spike's cheeks as well, smiling shakily and wanting to leap up and scream and jump and act like a fool. He sent it through the link instead, wild leaping joy and delight, possession and wonder, want, and Spike laughed aloud.

"Still wanna talk, pet?"

"Mmmm...yeah. What - " Xander rubbed his hands over Spike's shoulders and down his arms - stopped at his wrists and held them. Thin, they're thin...like a girls, but he can punch through a wall - through a rib-cage... "What about - Angel. Are you...ok?" Spike shivered a little, turning his wrists in Xander's grasp - not fighting at all as Xander slowly lifted Spike's arms up and over his head - held Spike's wrists together behind his head and lightly brushed his lips over Spike's face; cheeks and forehead, nose and eyes, chin and jaw and lips - not kissing, just...knowing.

"He knew. 'Bout the soldiers. 'Bout what they did. Xanderrr... " Xander let his tongue flicker out and trace Spike's lips - pulled back when Spike tried to press their mouths together.

"What love?"

"Kiss me...just..." Xander kissed him - soft, soft; delicate touch of tongue to upper lip, darting at his teeth, no pressure. Xander leaned his chest on Spike's and felt Spike shift in him, hardening again, pushing at him from the inside.

"He knew. Knew?"

"Yeah. Didn't care. Didn't...try to help. I - he ended it, love. He didn't...come for me. Didn't care. Left me again, just like before. Said he would - kill me. He's not - we're not..."

"No more claim on you," Xander said, and brought Spike's arms back down - settled them around his own waist and then sighed as Spike hugged him close.

"No more claim. He could try, but...the demon - won't recognize him." Spike looked up at Xander, his eyes flickering, watching. Xander pushed himself up and let his fingers run over Spike's collarbones and throat - down again to his chest, rubbing with the backs of his fingers and then with fingertips, over and over the erect nipples, the ripple of muscle and bone along the vampire's ribs, across his sternum and down his belly. The gold-green murk of the shuttered house like a gauze, making the edges of things blurred, making the sharp-edged beauty of the pale body under Xander softer - ethereal.

"What are you doing to me, love, what..." Spike whispered, and Xander glanced up at him, smiling just a little.

"Knowing you. Learning you." loving, loving you...want every inch of you Spike closed his eyes and started to move, sinuous rise and fall, and Xander moved as well, slow rhythm of hip and thigh, rocking and sliding. They were both silent, blind to each other, knowing only skin, only breath and wet touch of tongue. Xander felt the heat gathering in his belly, the tug and push in him of Spike. The vampire's cool flesh was soothing to him; under his thighs, against his chest and inner arms, against his neck where Spike mouthed the bite mark. Their orgasms built slowly as they both shifted and strove and gasped, and when they came it was silent; each with their arms around the other, tight enough to hurt. Earthquake of flesh running through them both, ringing through them as if their bones were hollow.

After a while they managed to pry themselves apart and stumble into the bathroom, and while they were drying off from a shower Xander thought of another question.

"Spike - how am I managing...all this sex? I know I'm a healthy young man - " he grinned when Spike snapped his towel at him. "But seriously...how?"

"My blood. Vampire's are the fuck all night and all day kind, and you've been getting my blood, so... you're getting a little of that too, pet. And healing just a little faster. S'why you're not all dizzy and tired when I drink from you." Xander thought about that.

"You don't take that much blood. Do you?" Spike tossed his towel at the towel-bar and missed, and cocked an eyebrow at Xander.

"No, I don't. But you lot are fragile. My blood makes you a bit tougher. You're not a demon, but you're not quite... the same as the other boys, anymore." Uncertainty was in Spike's voice, and Xander hung his own towel up, and regarded Spike's.

"Ok. Another plus, like the link. And I'm not picking up your towel." Xander's stomach suddenly made the most obnoxious noise possible, and they both laughed, heading for the bedroom.

"Guess it's pizza time," Xander said, grabbing an old pair of faded jeans. Spike's hands on his wrists stopped him.

"Let's go out someplace, eh? I'll buy you a steak. You eat too much pizza."

"You wanna - go out?" Xander just stood there, and Spike shifted a little, looking uneasy now, his hands fiddling with the buttons on his own jeans.

"I - yeah. Want some real food, want some wine, want to see you being treated nice. Me an' Dru - she loved to go out to the posh places; get all dolled up, get treated like a queen..." Spike looked at Xander, his head a little to one side, his expression serious. "You don't want to?"

"Yeah, I - I guess I do. I'm just...I don't want any of the gang..." Spike smirked at him, stepping up close to kiss him.

"Don't worry about them, pet. We'll go someplace they can't afford - won't be anywhere near us. We'll go to Calisto's. That suit you?"

"Calisto's? Wow. Umm...think I can eat without embarrassing myself?" Xander felt a little flutter of nerves in his belly. It was definitely an expensive place - one he'd never set foot in, and never hoped to.

"Wouldn't embarrass me if you ate with your fingers, love." Spike kissed him again and finished dressing; jeans and Docs and t-shirt, and Xander just looked at him.

"What?"

"Will they let us in, dressed in jeans and stuff? I've got a suit but it's - it's damn ugly."

"Nah - got a dress code an' all there. We'll go shopping first."

"Shopping? Ummm...Spike. Do you have a fever?" Xander made a show of putting his hand on Spike's forehead, making a worried face, and Spike poked him in the ribs.

"Stop that. I wanna take you out someplace, we both have to dress nice to go there, so we go buy some posh gear. Dolly, love."

"Uh. Dolly?" Spike just looked at him, then rolled his eyes.

"Simple, love. Right?"

"Right. Ok. Shopping." Xander finished dressing and did a quick check of the doors while Spike made a phone call and blew out candles. Then he tried to talk Xander into wearing a little liner. Xander just laughed.

"I am so not the eye-liner type, Spike. That's for the drop-dead gorgeous evil undead and the quirky musician types. I'm a manly Construction Man type. I'd look silly." Spike just shook his head, reaching to pet Xander's hair beautiful sexy mine so soft through the link. Making Xander shiver. Me. That's me he's thinking that about. Xander made sure the spare key was on the porch for Oz Need to do something about that - gotta remember

"So, we're off to the hell of the 24-hour Super-"

"No! I mean, no. Go downtown - that place near the post office? Can't remember what it's called..." Spike lit a cigarette and looked thoughtful, and Xander tried to remember what was near the post office. Lucky Garden. Shoe repair. That place that sells sewing machines. The dress shop Cordy was working in and... Oh.

"Brennermans?"

"Right. They've got posh stuff there - nicked me a shirt outta there once - Dru burned my old shirt."

"Really? I can't imagine. Could it be because you...oh...wore the same damn shirt for three years?"

"It got washed, pet. She had some spell or other she was trying out. Didn't work, though - just torched me shirt."

"Yeah, right, spell. I'll have to remember that one, " Xander teased. Can't believe I'm joking around with him about Drusilla. Too weird.

"Speaking of shirts...what was that, last night? Your clothes were all bloody - "

"Hellmouth, love. Always something to kill, isn't there?" Spike flicked his cigarette butt out the window and Xander nodded. Yes, there was, but... Xander decided to leave that alone, for now.

Coward, Harris.

No, just...selfish. I can't…

Brennermans was a rather high-end men's shop, and Xander remembered looking in the windows from time to time, thinking mostly that he wouldn't be caught dead in white pants and matching sweater. Hope it's not white pants...uh...season. Really don't like that. They pulled up in front of the store, and Xander was happy to see there were no other customers so close to closing time.

It took almost twenty minutes to find clothes that both Spike and the clerk agreed on, and Xander felt vaguely foolish trotting out of the dressing room in this or that 'ensemble'. But he had to admit that the final choice looked good. He looked - like a grown-up. Dark charcoal trousers that the clerk said were Irish Linen, as if they were the Holy Grail. And a thin, v-necked cashmere sweater, a creamy almost-white that made his construction-worker tan look darker and his hair almost black. He pushed the sweater sleeves up and held out his arms and Spike clapped his hands.

"Perfect, love. We'll take those, then. Gotta wear 'em out, though, so lets get those tags off."

"Wear them out?" the clerk - Robert - inquired, stepping up with a tiny pair of scissors. Robert's dark-blond hair was streaked in about five other shades of blond and worn in a floppy style that Xander associated with various chick-flicks he'd been forced to watch with Willow and Buffy.

"Movin', aren't we? An' just realized tonight all the good stuff's in boxes and probably a bloody mass of wrinkles." The clerk nodded and smiled and snipped tags. Spike disappeared into a changing room and came out a few minutes later in black trousers of the same linen and a red silk shirt.

"Spike! No way."

"What, pet? This looks good on me."

"Well yeah, but - remember Drusilla? The 'spell'?" Xander made little air quotes with his fingers.

"Yeah... " Spike seemed puzzled.

"Well, I know why she burned your shirt, ok?" Robert made a small, strangled sound, and Xander smothered a laugh. "Get anything but red. I mean - I'm getting dress shoes here - the dreaded loafer! You can wear something besides red." Spike scowled at him and Robert stood back, one hand to his mouth, looking at Spike critically. Then he turned to Xander and they both spoke at the same time.

"Blue."

"Now love - " Robert scurried off and Xander walked over to Spike, smoothing the sweater over his chest. Spike watched his hands - reached out when Xander was close enough and did the same, closing his eyes a little. Spike, Xander had discovered, was rather...intrigued...with the ultra-soft cashmere.

"Just think how nice that'd feel on...mmmm...various other...places..." Xander let his fingers brush lightly over Spikes' groin and the vampire made a tiny whimpering sound.

"Xan-derrrr... " Spike purred, and Xander swayed in close to him, lips just touching...

"Here we are!" Robert trilled behind them, and Xander jumped. Robert was holding another silk shirt over his arm, but this one was a deep, deep slatey blue - almost a gun metal color - and Xander knew it would be perfect. Spike just stared at it for a moment, a little dazed, and then he shrugged out of the red one and pulled on the other.

"I knew it!" Robert crowed, and Xander smoothed the shoulders of the shirt, smiling. It was perfect - it made Spike's pale skin look like alabaster and it made his eyes so blue they seemed electric. His hair even had a more silvery sheen to it in contrast to the shirt.

"Totally...edible," Xander whispered, and Spike's eyes flashed gold at him for a second.

"Right. We'll take the red one, too, and another of these sweaters here - "

"Shoes, Spike, " Xander said, grabbing Spike's duster - and the money in its pocket - and herding Spike towards the shoe racks. Robert followed Spike with his scissors and Xander piled all their clothes on the counter, folding the jeans and t-shirts into a neat pile. Spike still had a huge - to Xander at least - amount of money left from the bag he'd had stashed in his crypt. He'd given half of it to Xander - told him to put it in his bank or in a jar or whatever and use it when he needed it. He could always get more. Xander had looked at him and nodded and not thought terribly hard about where the 'more' would come from. In for a penny in for a pound. Or so they say.

In a few minutes Spike and Robert were back with the extra shirts, and Spike was wearing...well, they were a bit more bootish then the shoes Xander had chosen, but they were definitely not Docs. Robert had them rung up in minutes, everything tucked away in silver and cream striped bags. Spike pulled his duster on and they left, heading across town to Calisto's. It was a Greek restaurant, near the back of the UC Sunnydale campus. The surrounding neighbor hood was quiet, tree-lined, and expensive. The Dean of the University lived there, as well as a number of the professors and, Xander was sure, Cordelia's old house was around there somewhere.

Xander parked and they walked to the restaurant, and Xander couldn't keep the smile off his face. Spike looked - amazing. Totally different, but his essence - his predatory self - was there for all the world to see in the way he walked, and smiled, and looked at you with eyes like cobalt fire. Xander felt the slow heat of arousal wakening in him and fought it, not wanting to embarrass himself. A sudden blast of hot want from Spike made him groan. Spike caught his hand and laughed at him.

The restaurant was crowded and Xander didn't think they'd get a table, but then a familiar-looking person bustled up with menus and a big smile, and they were seated in minutes.

"Spike," Xander whispered. "The maitre d' looks kinda like...Clem. Only not so floppy."

"Yeah. Cousin. Clem's got lots of family. How we got a table on such short notice." Spike grinned at him and he grinned back, and then the ouzo came, tiny measures of liquor tasting strongly of licorice. Xander wasn't sure if he liked it or not. The tables had real linen cloths on them and candles in colored glass holders and Spike glowed. How'm I gonna even eat? He looks so...love you love you

And Spike smiled back, his eyes blazing in the candlelight.

He'd wanted steak - or at least - he'd thought he wanted it, but Spike had read the menu and described everything to him and it had all sounded so different and so good that Xander had ended up letting Spike order for him. First were stuffed grape leaves and a salad with cucumbers and feta cheese. Then fish-and-lemon soup, octopus with rice and lamb with tomatoes. Spike annoyed the waiter by insisting on no garlic, and Xander just smiled and ate, amazed at the new and interesting flavors, amazed that he was liking octopus and fish soup. It's the clothes. You're ACTING like an adult, too. Willow would be so proud

The thought of Willow made Xander frown for a moment, and then Spike launched into a story about him and Dru in Greece, on the train from Athens to Patras to take a ship to Italy. Their waiter eavesdropped, doing a poor job of busing an adjoining table. Xander was fairly certain that Spike edited out quite a bit of the eating of the other travelers and the terrorizing of the staff, but by the time Spike was finished, the chubby old man who'd been so annoyed over the garlic was beaming and nodding and patting Spike on the shoulder, all pretense of not listening gone. He talked to Spike a mile a minute in Greek and Spike talked back to him, not looking even remotely like he wanted to tear the man's throat out. The waiter finally waddled away, and Xander looked at Spike in astonishment.

"I didn't know you could speak Greek, Spike."

"Well, you pick things up, you know? Comes in handy, pet. It's not hard to learn languages - you should try some time." Spike picked at the last bit of his lamb, and Xander stiffened in his seat when he felt a socked foot rubbing his ankle.

"Uh...languages? No - not me. French in high school was hard enough." Spike snorted, his toes wiggling up Xander's pant-leg.

"High-school French. Not the same thing. You learn it by speaking it, not just staring at a bloody book full of it. You pick something sometime that I can speak and I'll teach you some. Demon language, maybe." Xander just stared at him, and tried to ignore the agile toes that were inching along his inner thigh.

For dessert there were baked quinces I don't even know what a quince is, but I like it and then they were done. The waiter came by with a package wrapped in brown paper and shoved it into Spike's hands, all the while talking and smiling and bobbing. Spike answered him, smiling faintly. They left money on the table and walked out.

"Hold this for me pet?" Spike asked, and handed the package to Xander. Spike lit a cigarette and slipped his arm around Xander's waist and they strolled back to the truck. The moon had set long ago, and in the clear vault of the sky the stars seemed to be just barely out of reach, like Christmas lights strung across a ceiling.

"What was up with the waiter, Spike? Another cousin?"

"Nah. He heard me talking and was excited because he's from Patras. Wanted to reminisce."

"Hmmm. That was nice of you. To talk to him."

"Sure. Got us free baklava." Spike tapped the package and Xander looked at it.

"What's that?"

"Ohh, pet, you've never had it? Honey and butter and nuts and pastry...better then any bloody Twinkie."

"Better then Twinkies? Never!" Spike just turned his head a little and kissed him, and they stole kisses off each other all the way to the truck. And all the way home. This is so weird. Is this Spike? Is this what expensive clothes and good food does to vampires? Xander laughed to himself at that - expensive clothes hadn't made Angel easy to be around.

Oz was still gone when they got there, and the baklava barely made it to the kitchen counter uncrushed. After a while, in the bedroom:

"I've never actually been asked to put clothes back on, even by Cordelia."

"C'mon pet. Please?"

"Ok...wait..." There were several minutes of quiet rustling and breathing.

"Mmmm...ohh...feelsss...mmmm..."

"You really like that, huh? How about...here... "

"Xan-derrrr...ohhh"

"Spike...fuck...ahhh... " Panting, gasping, and creaks from the bed, and then, slowly, silence.

"Damn. This has to be dry-cleaned, doesn't it? You are taking it in and handing it to the person behind the counter."

"Mmmm...anything, pet. Where's the other sweater?"

14 Reckoning

Spike woke around two when Oz dropped something heavy in the living room.  He lay on his back for a minute, wondering if he wanted to get up or not.  Oz quietly cursing decided for him what in bloody hell is he doin' out there?  and he pulled on the first jeans that came to hand - an old pair of Xanders so worn and washed they were like felt.  He stumbled out to the kitchen and dug around for a pot to heat water for tea.  Need to get a kettle.  Next time I'm out...   He found his smokes on the counter and got one out - lit it, inhaling deeply.   He leaned there, watching Oz push through the door with a box that rattled - tapes, cd's, and even some vinyl, sticking over the top.

"Hey, Spike.  Sorry 'bout the noise."

"No problem, mate.  What're you doin'?"

"I had some stuff stored with Devon and...he needed me to move it, so...   Thought I'd go through it, see what I wanted to keep." Oz put the box down on the kitchen table and stood there, looking at Spike.    "Got a job."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.  Spike - Need to talk to you a minute."  Spike blinked at him.

"Aren't we?"

"Well, yeah, but - in a serious kinda way.  You mind?"  Spike ran his hands back through his hair and glanced at the pot.   Not boiling yet

"Sure, mate.  No problem."  He slumped into a chair and started going through Oz's music, making a pile of 'heard' and 'haven't heard'.  Oz watched him, leaning on the edge of the table.

"Saw Devon last night."

"Yeah, so Xander said.  So you just said."  Spike looked up at him - noticed that Oz looked tired.  "You mind handing me that, wolfling?"  Spike gestured at the ashtray near Oz's hands, and Oz pushed it across to him, finally settling into a chair himself.

"Yeah.  Devon.  He's - got something going - since I left.  Kinda took the band off in a new direction and...well, I'd kinda planned on staying with him but now, I don't think so."

"Huh."  Spike squinted through smoke at a .45 Grave cd, trying to remember if he'd heard it before.  Decided he hadn't and put it in the 'haven't' stack.

"Xander said - I could stay here.  Remember, the night you guys got me out?  And I think...for a while...I'd like to take him up on that."

"Right.  What does any of this have to do with me, wolf?"  Spike stubbed out his cigarette and looked at the pot again.  Still not boiling.  Did I turn the damn stove on?

"Well - this is your house too, Spike.  Need to ask you - if it's ok with you."  Spike looked at him, startled.  

My house?  This is Xander's house.  I don't...  

He's scared*  the demon whispered, and Spike realized it was so.  

What of?  That I'll tell him bugger off...?   Why?  

"This is Xander's house, mate, an' if he says stay, you can stay.  I don't -"  care, he was going to say, but something in Oz's expression made him stop for a moment.  It's that pack thing.  Belonging...   DO I want him here?   Spike looked at Oz, scenting his distress - really looking at him.  He was still thin-looking; from traveling maybe, or from nightmares and his eyes were shadowed in his face.  He was nearly as pale as Spike himself.  Needs this.  I don't mind - we don't

"I don't mind havin' you, mate.   You're good company an' you can help keep the gang off Xander's back.  Stay as long as you like."   Oh, that's relief, that is.  Wonder what else is goin' on here?  Oz grinned at him, standing back up.

"Thanks, Spike.  I'm gonna finish up with my boxes."  He turned and went back outside, and Spike realized that his hands were shaking a little.   He'll know  Spike shifted in his chair - got up and got another cigarette and turned the burner up to 'high' on the stove.  So what if he knows?  Xander has to know...even if he's not saying...and wolfling was here when Jack fixed it.  He knows...everything already   Spike glared at the pot.  He actually wasn't sure if Xander knew - knew that Spike slipped out of bed and house in the middle of the night, two a.m., a little later.  To hunt.  To put the fear of William the Bloody back into the local demonic population.  To feed.  He'd told Xander not to buy anymore blood - no point in wasting his money - and hadn't touched what was in the 'fridge since he'd gotten back.  Xander didn't seem to notice - or if he did, he didn't comment.  It made Spike uneasy.  He was just waiting for something to happen.  For Xander to decide he couldn't handle it or couldn't allow it or...  

Something.  Has to say something, and then…  

He wants us.  Wants the claim  

He doesn't know what the claim IS  

Didn't TELL him!  Want him - need him   Spike snarled silently at the demon.  He hated to admit it, but he was afraid.  He knew that despite his explanation, he hadn't told Xander everything about the claim spell.  He was pretty sure that when he did, Xander would reconsider.  

Still a white-hat.  Still one of them...can't really want this

We hear him!  Wants it  

Maybe    Spike pushed the thoughts away - pushed them down somewhere with Angel and Dru and the nightmares he was still having.  

Teeth and claws.  You can't trap this forever  

Sod off

The water boiled at last and Spike made tea - got his bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet and added a healthy slug to the cup, frowning.  He sat and drank it and looked at music and the next time Oz came inside he asked which one Oz liked best out of the 'haven't heard' stack, and in a while they were listening to a band called The Brandos and talking about Oz's new job.  Oz had stacked five or six largish boxes in the living room - one holding a particularly nice sound system - and Spike carried the music out there and watched Oz go through his stuff.  A lot of the cassettes had suffered in storage - too much heat or damp, and they would hardly play.  Soon there was a large discard pile, and Oz was sorting a box full of loose wires, jacks, empty jewel cases, random tools and guitar strings when he found the bag of marijuana.  Spike settled cross-legged on the floor and began to roll a joint, just listening to the music and watching Oz work.  Wonder what Xander'll say.  Don't know if he thought the wolf would really move in.  Wonder if he wants...                          
The pot was good, and Spike and Oz smoked and talked about music - smoked and looked through Oz's books, and finally just smoked; sprawled on their backs on the floor, listening to a live recording of some Chinese band Oz had brought back from Tibet.  

Xander walked in, bringing wood and sweat and sweet smell with him, dropping his tool belt at the door.  Spike twisted over onto his belly and grinned at him, feeling the familiar shivery heat of arousal stir in him as he looked at his boy.  Mine.  I'll tell him - tell him about the claim.  He - has to want it.  Can't leave us...love, want you  Xander blinked - grinned at him and walked over, kneeling down beside Spike and kissing the top of his head.

"'Lo, Spike.  Oz.  What's all this?"

"Xander.  Hey.  It's my stuff from storage.  Want some?"   Oz gestured with the roach he was holding and Xander nodded, reaching for it and taking a long drag.

"Thanks.  So, you gonna stay, Oz?"   Xander croaked, holding his breath, and Oz just stared at him.  Spike started laughing, rolling onto his back again and putting his head on Xander's thigh, laughing at the surprised expression on Oz's face, and at Xander's grimace as he let out his breath and coughed.

"Yeah - I - I was hoping I could stay.  Thanks."  Oz took the roach and held it gingerly, his fingers close to the coal.  Spike reached up and pulled Xander down to him, kissing him, tasting smoke and sweet, iced tea and mmmm...just him.  My boy...want    Xander slid his hands along Spike's shoulders and chest - finally sat back, smiling, his tongue going out to lick his lips.

"Need a drink.  You want something?"

"Yeah - got any a those beers left, pet?"

"I'll see."  Xander stood up slowly and then fished in his pocket.  "Hey, before I forget - Oz, here."  Xander tossed something jingly to Oz - dropped a similarly noisy thing on Spike's chest.  Spike grabbed it - held up a key ring with four keys on it.   The keys were color-coded.  He looked up at Xander, who was grinning down at him.

"Ok - blue is front door, red is kitchen door, and green is bathroom door.  And Spike - against my better judgment, the big key is to my truck."  Spike examined the keys, knowing that he was grinning like an idiot, but not caring.  He looked back up at Xander.

"Thanks love," he said, and Xander just laughed.

"What is it with this house and doors, man?"  Oz asked, attaching the smaller ring to his own rather spare set.

"I dunno," Xander said, making his way around boxes and piles of things to the kitchen.  "But, like Spike said, that bathroom door comes in handy on exploding-demon nights.   So...are you gonna set your stereo up Oz?  'Cause I'm thinkin' it's way better then the old boom box here."

"Sure.  I've got a bookshelf at my folk's, I'll get it tomorrow, we'll get all this - "  he waved his hand around at the mess.  "Get all this squared away."

"Cool."  Xander went into the kitchen and Spike could hear him opening a beer - getting a glass from the cabinet and opening the 'fridge, pouring something.   Spike just lay on the floor, listening to the mortal's heartbeat, the keys clutched in his hand.   Listening as the steady ta-tum suddenly jumped, beating a little faster.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"This...blood.  It's like - old.  Can you still drink it?"  Xander's voice sounded...  is he mad?   Spike wanted to say something...reassuring.  But his brain was working  at half speed, and the long afternoon of talking in circles and talking about everything and nothing with Oz had made him feel...safe.  

"Nah, s'no good, pet.  Just throw it away, eh?  I'll find me a nice chica later, something spicy... "

Dead silence from the kitchen, and the link, that had been quietly percolating with affection and arousal went absolutely dead.  Spike froze where he was - didn't move, didn't think.  Oz had gone stiffly silent as well, eyes locked on a book.  

Love...  Spike heard Xander's heart speed up even more - heard his breathing go ragged, and Spike finally shook off his paralysis and jumped up, darting into the kitchen, letting the keys drop.  Xander was standing by the 'fridge, glass of water in one hand, the two packets of blood in the other.  Staring at the blood.

"Xander, pet... "

"N-no, Spike, it's ok.  It's - "   Xander turned and dropped the packets into the trash and then leaned against the counter, staring at Spike.  His hands were shaking, and set his water down with a chattering clink on the counter.   No, no, don't love, please...oh gods, what do I...

"Spike.  It's ok.  I'm - I'm being... "   Xander stopped and rubbed his hands over his face - looked up at Spike and gave him a small smile.   But his eyes were wide and wet, and Spike felt his hands clench - felt his nails split his palms.

"C'mere,"  Xander whispered, and held his arms out.  But...   Spike hesitated, confused.  Then he stepped up close and burrowed into the familiar warmth and scent, the reassuring thud and rush of heart and blood.  And the link finally opened again, full of love  but there was an undercurrent of fear sorrow  that made Spike pull away a little, looking closely at Xander in the warm golden light that glowed through the blinds.

"Love - tell me.  What do you...I'm sorry, love -"

"No, Spike, don't.  I'm not - I'm not upset about...what you said.  About you - going and finding someone…   I mean, I am, but..."  Xander leaned his forehead on Spike's, arms tightening around his waist, and Spike wanted to crush him close - kiss him until he couldn't breathe, never  let him up or out or away from him.  He tried not to hug Xander too tightly, aware he could hurt him.  Love you, love you...never let you go...pet, please   Xander leaned back, and Spike looked at him - looked into his dark eyes, searching for forgive something.  

"Tell me, pet.  Tell me what you mean."  Xander nodded - wetted his lips.

"I'm - it's what I said, Spike.  I don't care that you're hunting.  And I should.  I'm supposed to be a good guy - supposed to be, you know, helping the Slayer keep the world free of evil.  Or at least Sunnydale.  And all I care about is that you don't k-kill me or mine.  That you leave the gang alone.  And that girl at the coffee shop and that guy that sold us the clothes...   I'm - I'm such a fuckin' hypocrite and I don't even care..."  Xander stopped, taking a shuddering breath, and Spike could hear his heart pounding so fast, could smell the fear and the misery coming off him.  He pushed his fingers back through Xander's hair, so gently, kissing his cheeks and his lips, telling him love you love you  every way that he could.

"You do care, love, or you wouldn't -"

"No - hush.  Don't say anything, Spike.  I care - but I guess...  I guess I don't care enough.  I'm not going to ask you to - stop.  I'm not.  That would be...  I dunno what it would be.  It feels wrong.  I told you - I expect you to be a vampire, and that's... part of it.  I wish you could just - travel to the other side of the planet every night and hunt in Budapest or something, but that's wrong, too.  I just don't - "   Xander stopped again and this time he was crying, silently, and Spike held him close, rubbing his hands over Xander's back, shaking.  Fuck, should have said, should have…  Don't know if it's enough, please let it be enough...love, don't leave me please, please   Something of that got through, because Xander sent it back, fierce and desperate love you mine  and lifted his head, wiping at moisture, sniffing.

"How can I not care?  I should feel - I should feel h-horrified or - or disgusted.   Something.   And I don't know what to do about it."  Spike kissed where the tears had been, tasting salt and sorrow with a flicker of his tongue.

"Maybe you don't need to do anything."  It was Oz, standing in the doorway to the living room, hands tightly folded together and eyes wary.  Spike felt a growl in his chest, getting louder, and pushed it back.  The wolfling was family and he could say - whatever he liked.

"Wha'dya mean, Oz?"  Xander whispered, voice thick with tears.

"I'm not trying to - justify - anything.  But.  From what Giles has said, about the Slayer's history and everything - all these things, all these demons and vampires and...well, werewolves...we've all been around as long as humans - longer, even.  So maybe death by vampire or - whatever - is part of life, just like...any other kind.  I mean - we all die eventually, and dead is dead.  It's all natural because it happens to everybody.  So maybe - Spike's just doing what he has to do, and it doesn't mean anything, really.  Doesn't have to mean he's evil, doesn't make you...guilty by association.  You can't stop him, Xander.  Not even with the love thing."  Xander stared at Oz for a minute, bewildered, then laughed a little.

"The love thing, Oz?  Tell me what that is, please, 'cause I don't think I've tried it.

"You haven't.  But you might.   It's that 'if you really loved me you would' thing.  You know?"

"Oh.  That."  Xander looked at Spike, and Spike felt a tiny surge of  sorrow and Xander touched Spike's lips, fingertips as warm as sunlight.

"I dunno.  Maybe I would have.  But that - never works.  Things don't work like that."

"Right.  They don't.  I can't tell you what to feel, Xander.  But...you're in love with a vampire.  And he's in love with a human.  You might never be - easy - with this.  But it's just - what he is.  What you both are.   Don't let this...make you hate yourself…or him.  He's only a monster if you make him one."  Oz looked at them for a long moment, and there was some emotion in him, so strong that Spike could hear his heart pounding.  But the werewolf took a hard, deep breath and then he turned and went back into the living room, turning on the lone lamp and settling back to sorting his things.  Spike waited, while Xander thought about what Oz had said - while Xander ran his hands over Spike's chest and arms, learning me, knowing me and finally looked at him, eye to eye.

"I love you, Spike.  No matter what.  Maybe it is - justification.  But this place - everyone knows, what goes on here.  We've seen it all our lives and we take our chances.    I love you.  I won't stop you and I won't...I won't try to make you feel guilty - "  Spike couldn't help it - he laughed softly, pulling Xander close.

"Love - I've been alive for 140 years.  I haven't felt real bloody guilt since the night Dru turned me.  And maybe I should, poncey, soul-having bastard that I am.  But I don't.  I won't hurt your mates, Xander.  I'll try not to hurt the Slayer, but she can't seem to stop herself from attacking me and I'm bloody well not gonna let her stake me.  I can promise you that."  Spike pushed his fingers through Xander's hair - pulled him close for a soft kiss, and then pulled away, looking straight into the wide, anxious eyes opposite his own.   "But anyone and anything that hurts you - tries to hurt you - is the walking dead.  And the Initiative, love, is gonna learn what a Master vampire can do.  You couldn't stop me if you tried.  But - when I hunt, love…I don't even have to kill 'em.  I…haven't been."  Xander looked up at him, his eyes searching, the link full of love truth please

"You haven't?"  Xander whispered, and Spike felt a wave of relief so strong he closed his eyes for a moment.

"No love.  Truth  I promised you, remember?  Won't put anymore deaths on you.  Not ones that you'd…regret.   I'm not a fledge, too stupid to control himself.  Or Angelus, always wanting to - break things.  I take what I need from three or four - leave 'em where they're safe.  It's not hard."  I chose this.   I gave him this.  I'm stronger then the demon, stronger then Angelus - stronger then they know   Spike stretched up to kiss again, savoring the warmth.   "Love you, Xander, love you more than...more than anything."  mine mine for always love you

"Yeah.  For always.  Thank you, love - for doing that for me."  Xander drew him close, kissing back, and Spike let the familiar surge of lust and love, tenderness and fierce, possessive joy wash over him - catch him up and fling him, dizzy, into the ether.  He knew only Xander's warmth - his scent and taste - felt only his skin like finest suede, soft and sun-touched and surging with life.   Mine my boy my love...never leave me never let me hurt you, love don't

"Won't hurt me, Spike.  You won't.  But... "   Xander looked at him, frowning, and listen listen came through, loud and clear.  "You be careful, Spike.  If Buffy finds out about you - about the chip - you know what she'll do.  And Giles will probably help her.   I don't want to run away, but I won't let her touch you, and if it means we leave Sunnydale - leave California - we will.  But you be careful, and be smart - don't make me worry about you all the time, ok?"  MINE your mine never leave

"I'll be careful, love.  Promise.   You'd…really leave here?"  

"If I had to."   Xander's gaze was serious - a little troubled, and Spike smoothed the sable-dark hair back, and hugged him close.  They just stood together, arms tight and cheeks touching, eyes closed.  Until the phone rang and Spike jumped, cursing.  Xander shuffled over to the phone and Spike didn't let him go - kissed his neck and deliberately nibbled at the mostly-healed mark he'd made, grinning when Xander gasped a little.

"Spike!" he hissed, covering the receiver and trying to glare at the vampire behind him.

"Hello?  Hey, Giles.  Right now?  Oh...damn.  Ok.  Gimmie - half an hour, I just got home, I need to shower...  Ok.  Bye."

"The gang need you, Xander?"

"Something bad happened - Riley heard it on his radio.  I guess - Adam got one of the soldiers.  Tortured him. We have to go over there.  We've really got to get this...thing.  You up for this, Oz?"

"Sure.  Gotta find my shoes..."  

Spike felt the tiniest stirring of fear - tromped ruthlessly down on it and killed it.  It'll be fine.  I got some stuff to tell them and...Xander knows.  He knows.  It'll be fine    He let Xander go, to shower and change, and he followed a moment later to put on his black, armoring himself against the gang - against the slurs and the snark, knowing he had to be in total control.    If he let slip the demon - he could lose everything.  Won't do that.  Won't lose this - won't lose my boy.  And...don't want to hurt the wolf.  Family.  This is my family now.  Mine to protect - my town to control.   He went out to the living room and picked up his keys - held them tight in his fist like a talisman against all bad things.   William the Bloody, and I won't fuck this up

The atmosphere at Giles' apartment was subdued.  Buffy and Riley were on the couch holding hands, but they were both tense.  Willow was at her laptop She's like computer nerd extraordinaire, these days  and Tara was next to her, looking uncomfortable, hiding behind her hair.  Giles was tight-lipped when they walked in, his eyes darting from Xander to Oz and narrowing when he saw Spike.  don't don't don't  Xander thought, and Spike went silently to his place on the steps, pulling his duster around him.   Anya was in the corner of the couch opposite Buffy and Riley, but she didn't meet Xander's eyes when he looked at her.

"Giles - what's up?"

"Please sit down, Xander.  And Oz, you as well.  This is for Riley to tell."  Xander and Oz settled on the stools by the breakfast bar, and Giles leaned next to them, arms crossed, frowning.  Willow looked up from her computer and smiled weakly at them, making a little wave at Xander and Oz.  Tara just smiled, but her eyes were dark.   Riley glanced at them - sent a venomous look at Spike.

"Why does that - hostile - have to be here?"

"He's supposed to be helping us, Riley.  To stop Adam."  Xander was amazed at Buffy's quiet tone.  Amazed that she'd spoken up for Spike.  Riley looked at her angrily.

"Help how?  Do you really trust him?  I don't understand why -"

"Riley - please.   Just - let it go, ok?  Tell us - what happened.  Xander and Oz don't even know what happened yet."  Buffy sounded - tired.  Riley scrubbed his hands back through his hair - clasped his fingers together between his knees, ignoring Buffy's abortive move to take his hand again.

"I kept a radio from the Initiative - I've been listening to it, mostly to steer clear of patrols..."  Riley looked at Xander and Oz - looked down again, mouth grim.  "Today, early this morning, I heard - up in Breakers' Wood, near Adam's cave.  They found...Mason.  He was - on my team.  He was tortured.  Adam tortured him and killed him."  Riley shuddered, and Buffy reached hesitantly to touch his shoulder.  He looked at her and sighed, and she hugged him, eyes brimming with unshed tears.  Xander sat frozen on the stool.  Thinking.  His duster.  All...bloody.  And his Docs.  The blood on the door.  Oh fuck.   Xander looked up at Spike, who was staring straight at Riley, eyes glowing gold.  His face was a mask of utter hate, and Xander suddenly pushed SPIKE!  as hard and loud as he could.  Spike flinched and jerked his head around to look at him.   His expression softened and his eyes were human again.  He nodded once at Xander.

"So - he's moved from demons to humans.  What's the plan then?  What are we doing?"  Xander asked, remembering the demon carcass they'd found in the woods; Adam's first experiment.  Amazed that his voice sounded so…normal.  Giles glanced over at him and then rose, going to stand behind Willow and Tara.

"I've asked Willow to see what the coroners' report says - see if there's anything at all there to help us understand this.  And I want to hear from Spike, as well.  Have you had any success in contacting him, Spike?"  Xander felt himself tense as Spike stood up, a slight smirk curling up the corner of the vampire's mouth, his whole being screaming 'Big Bad'.  Guaranteed to piss off at least half the room.

"You're in luck, mate.  Talked to him last night.  Seems he's got some kind of - ultimate soddin' plan.  Wants the Slayer and her gang to set-to with the soldier boys and the demons and provide him with - how did he put it?  Oh yeah.  All the bloody spare parts he needs."  Spike's smile was tight and malicious and Xander could practically feel Buffy switching into Slayer mode from across the room.  Riley was on his feet, and Giles was scowling.  Buffy stalked over to Spike and got up in his face, and Spike just stood there, looking down at her, never once losing the smile.

"You'd better be telling us the truth, Spike.  And you'd better have something for us, because otherwise I'll be more then happy to let Riley work out some frustration on your undead ass."  Spike hissed, and even in his human face, it was a shivery sound.  There was a small gasping noise from Willow, and Xander glanced over to see her holding Tara's hand, both of the witches wide-eyed and ready to Fuck, they're ready to do some kind of magic here and who fucking knows what the hell it might be - Tara might get it right but Willow is freaking out and she could send us all to Siberia or something  

"Keep your toy soldier away from me, Slayer.  I dunno if I could tear out his heart before this fucking chip knocked me down, but I'd be bloody willing to try.  You don't want another dead soldier on your hands, do you?"  Buffy aimed a ferocious punch at him and Spike mostly dodged it, falling into a loose stance, ready to fight.   A little blood trickled down from where Buffy's ring had cut the skin over his cheekbone.  Stop!  Back off, damnit!   Xander felt like he was going to fly apart - he was so tense his muscles were shaking, and he desperately wanted to intervene somehow - to stop this.  Beside him, he could feel Oz trembling, and he tried to calm himself down, as well.  Nothing articulate was coming through the link, it was HATE and Xander gasped at the intensity of it - at the almost painful need for violence - for blood - rolling off  Spike in waves.

Spike glanced over at him and like that, the link went dead.  Spike straightened out of his crouch and shot a look of pure amusement at Riley, and then Buffy.  

"You lot never learn.  Can't get anything out of me if I'm laid up, can you.  And this Adam - he thinks I'm so useful.  Can't begin to tell you how pleased he was to see me."  He stalked over to the table and drew something out of an inner pocket - tossed it down next to Willow's computer.  Floppy discs, four or five, unmarked.  Willow looked at them as if they might be poisonous, and then reached tentatively for one.  Spike reached up and felt his cheek - looked at the blood on his fingers and casually licked it away, ignoring Willow's flinch, Buffy's noise of disgust.

"Frankentron had 'em up in that cave - has a bunch of stuff.  He talks more than the Watcher, here, so while he was gassin' on 'bout his master plan I nicked 'em."  Spike looked down at Willow, who unconsciously moved a little closer to Tara.  

"Well - w-what's on them?  I mean - are they schematics or - or the directions for how to build your own Adam or what?"

"Well now, that's your job, innit Red?  You're the computer expert.   You tell us."  Spike sauntered into Giles' kitchen and opened the 'fridge.  "Oi, Watcher!  You're supposed to have a little treat in here for me, wasn't that the deal?"

"The deal was for you to find us something we could use.  Until Willow can look these discs over, we don't know what you've brought.  For all we know it could be the kitchen supplies inventory or something equally useless.  You'll have to wait."  Spike slammed the 'fridge shut, making it rock on its feet.  He came around the kitchen corner fast and snarled straight into Giles' face, demon flickering out and away almost faster then the eye could follow.  Giles flinched back hard, and Buffy practically leaped across the room, snatching a handful of duster and yanking Spike back.

"That's it, Spike - you don't threaten anyone here - get out!"  Buffy had a stake in her hand, poised to attack, and Riley was behind her, furious.  Spike shifted again, demon and then human, head down and eyes flickering over everyone in the room.  calm please Spike  

"Guys…"  Xander said, wondering what in hell to say next.      

"Guess you don't care how many G.I. Joe's buy it, eh Slayer?  So long as your toy is safe."

"Shut.  Up."

"Hey - here's the coroners' report.  Buffy, you wanna - wanna read it?"  Willow's voice was high-pitched with anxiety, and she looked from Buffy to Spike and back again, clearly unhappy.   Anya got up off the couch and came over, casually walking between Buffy and Spike.

"I'll read it, Willow.  I'm sure this Adam doesn't have anything up on me, but I'm always happy to check on someone's technique."

"Anya -"  Giles glared at her, and Buffy rolled her eyes, taking a step back.  "Buffy, please - just try to ignore him.  He can't actually hurt me; let him bluster all he likes,"  Giles said, looking over Willow's shoulder.   Spike smirked at Anya, skirting around Buffy and Riley and heading back to the stairs.  Xander thought he might pass out.  My god.  That was SO not careful.  We are going to have a LONG talk.  Fuck, I think I need a...drink or something.  Thank god for Anya   Xander caught Anya's eye and smiled, and she smiled back, raising her eyebrows.  She knew EXACTLY what she was doing.  You go, girl.  Christ.  I actually said that.  Thought it.  Whatever   Xander got up and went into the kitchen.  

"Giles, you mind if I get a glass of water?"

"Hmmm?"  Giles turned away from the laptop and peered at Xander.  "Oh no, of course not.  Please help yourself.  Everyone, please..."  Giles turned back, squinting at the screen, glancing at Anya in irritation as the ex-demon scrolled too fast down the page.  Xander filled a glass at the tap and leaned against the sink, drinking and watching Spike.  Spike seemed to be having a fight with himself - he was glancing around the room, muttering, his fingers rolling and fiddling with a cigarette.  He glanced up at Xander and then away, and love you washed through Xander, strong and warm.  Xander smiled - emptied his glass and rinsed it; put it in the dish rack.

"Wow - he really got inventive there."  Anya said suddenly, pointing to something on the screen, and Tara made a choking noise and got up.  Riley was back on the couch, Buffy hovering indecisively over him.

"What - what does it say, Giles?" Buffy asked, and Giles took off his glasses, giving them a brief polish before shooing Willow away from her chair.

"It says - first of all - he was dead for two days when they found him.  He - was - partially flayed and had many slash wounds and...puncture wounds.  And...  "  Giles sighed, rubbing his forehead.  "He was...nailed up to a tree."  

"Fuck!" from Riley, muffled behind his fists, and Buffy flinched, putting her hand on his shoulder.  

"It doesn't actually say the cause of death, though," Anya said, peering at the screen.

"What do you mean?  It's obvious, isn't it?"  Buffy's mouth was tight, her eyes dark.  Anya shrugged.

"Well, not really.  People can survive a lot of torture.  All of these wounds - they might have killed him, but most of them weren't enough to do it.  I wonder why it's not in here."  She scrolled the screen again, frowning, and Willow looked thoughtful.

"Well, they - they don't know who did it - I mean, they don't know it's Adam.  Maybe they think it's a - serial killer or something, and they're, you know, withholding key evidence so they can catch him.  Or...something like that."  Willow reached over and tapped something, closing the screen.

"I'm really very sorry, Riley," Giles murmured, and he stood up and came into the kitchen, picking up his tea kettle and filling it, staring blankly into space, not noticing Xander at all.   Xander looked over at Spike - saw something flicker across his face before being wiped away, the faintly amused smirk settling into place.  

He did it.  That night - after Angel came - he went out and ... found this guy.   And...fuck.  He put one of those nails in Angel    Xander swallowed hard, then pushed it away - pushed it all away.   Knew he was going to do this.  Can't STOP him from doing this.  He still - dreams.  I know he does.  They hurt him, and he's...reciprocating.  It's what he DOES

Deal with it, Harris.  In for a penny...  

Oh fuck you.  I know, I know.  Fuck  Xander went back to his seat, watching as Willow fed one of the discs into the computer,  and Tara went over to Buffy, smiling softly, putting her hand gently on Buffy's arm.  Riley had gotten up and was standing looking out the window, his back rigid.  Spike... watched them all, his eyes glittering in the dimness.  Lucifer or Gabriel, Xander couldn't tell.  An angel with one wing dipped in blood.  That's him - so perfect, and so...   He tortured that man and came home to me and I...love him...anyway.  God.    Next to him, Oz was looking studiously at his hands.  When Xander took in a hard breath, Oz looked up, his eyes dark, his face set.  He looked - angry, almost.  

"Oz?"  Xander whispered.

"Don't hate yourself, Xander.  Accept it or don't, but don't take it on yourself."  Xander stared at him - glanced back at Spike and then nodded.

"I'd do the same myself, if I could," Oz murmured, and Xander looked at him in surprise before turning his attention back to Willow, who was saying something about the discs.

"They're encrypted.  It'll take a while for me to break this."

"You c-can do it, Willow," Tara said softly, and Willow smiled at her.  

"Yeah - just give me a day or so, Giles, and I'll - I'll have the code.  I think.  I think I will."

"Alright, Willow.  Thank you."  Giles went over to his table, picking up a book and laying it down again, frustrated.  "In the meantime, we need to do some research.  There have to be some spells we can use to stop Adam.  Since conventional weapons don't seem to hurt him, and he's...stronger then you, Buffy, we need something very powerful.  If you could do a spell while you were fighting..."  Giles stopped, at a loss, taking off his glasses and rubbing his forehead.

"Super Slayer, with all the combined powers of the SuperFriends!"  Xander said in his best 'Saturday Morning Cartoon' voice.   Spike was shredding a cigarette all over Giles' stairs, frowning.

"What was that?"  Giles asked.

A half-hour later they had the basics of a plan.  Anya, Tara and Giles were going to prepare the spell; Willow was going to concentrate on the discs.  Buffy was going to get Riley back to his place and do a campus patrol, and Giles had asked Xander and Oz to patrol in town.  And 'oh yes, do take Spike with you', with an irritated glance at the shreds of paper and tobacco on the stairs.   Spike was practically vibrating with poorly-contained tension and he was up and out the door before Xander and Oz could even say their goodbyes.  The link was a roil of agitation and anger, and Xander was starting to get jumpy himself.  He smiled and waved at Buffy and Riley, who were back on the couch and fairly oblivious.  Anya had stepped outside after Spike for some 'fresh air'.   Xander gave Willow a quick hug.

"Are you ok, Xander?"  Willow asked, her hand lingering on his forearm.

"Sure Wills.  Why?"  

"Well, vampire living at your house and he seems kinda - edgy?"

"Oh."  Xander looked at Willow, wondering what, exactly, to say.  He decided he'd go for 'mostly the truth' and see how that worked.  "Well, he's actually not all that edgy when we're home.  It's just, you know - "  Xander made a gesture around the room, encompassing Giles and Riley and Buffy.  "He's not happy to be around Riley, and he and Buffy never got along, and Giles makes him crazy, so...coming here is kinda hard."

"Well sure, but - we're helping him, Xander - protecting him and - and feeding him.    He should try to be - grateful."  Xander snapped his mouth shut before he said anything.  What waited on the tip of his tongue was unkind in the extreme.  He took a deep breath and looked over at Tara, who was frowning.

"He's not grateful, Willow, because he was kidnapped and maimed.  And when he comes here he gets his life threatened and he gets told that if he dies it won't actually matter to anyone.  You try and be all smiles and puppies with that in your face.  He's helping us, and he doesn't actually have to, so maybe you guys should just lay off him."  Willow was wide-eyed now, and she looked like she might actually cry - or smack him.  Tara stepped up close to her and took her hand.

"W-we are kinda hhard on him, Willow.  He d-didn't aa-actually hurt anybody, he j-just ... got growly."

"Tara!  But he- he threatened Giles!"

"No, Wills, he didn't.  He - growled at him.  Buffy threatened him.  As usual.  I'm actually kind of suprised he even turned those discs over to us.  And Giles should have kept up his end of the deal."  Xander looked at Willows' shocked, disbelieving face and shook his head.

"He's trying, Willow, he really is - we get along fine at home.   No need to worry about me, ok?  How's things at school?  Are your classes fun?"  Willow gave him a hard look but allowed herself to be distracted, and after a few minutes of conversation about professors and papers, they were both a little calmer.   The feelings coming through the link had calmed, as well - in fact, Xander had the distinct feeling that Spike was laughing.

"Ok, gotta go.  Good luck with the spell thing, you guys."  Oz was already slipping out the door, and Xander waved to the room in general and followed.  Anya was sitting outside on the steps with Spike, sharing a cigarette.  Xander stared for a second and then grinned and walked over.    As soon as he was close enough, Spike reached out and grabbed him, pulling him down onto the step just below him and wrapping his arms around Xander's shoulders.  The vampire rubbed his cheek against Xander's hair, kissing the top of his head.    For some reason, Xander didn't feel a moment's hesitation in letting Anya know exactly what was going on between him and Spike.  Oz lingered by the door, head cocked as if listening.

"Spike - that was so not careful in there."  Xander felt Spike smirk into his hair and he leaned back into him, curling his hands around Spike's calves.  "Anya - thanks."

"Sure Xander.   I've decided that if we aren't going to be orgasm friends we can be just regular friends.  Besides, the not-quite-humans in this group have to stick together."  

"Yeah?  Ok.  Ummm.  But - I'm all human, Anya."  Anya looked at him, a small smile on her face.

"You're having orgasms with a vampire, Xander.  That makes you different no matter what."  Spike finished the cigarette and flicked the butt away into the shadows.

"I really need to go stomp somthin' into the ground, mate.  How about you and the wolf meet me at my old crypt?  I'll bet I can find something to dismember on the way."  Xander twisted a little, looking up at the vampire.

"Are you sure?  I mean - the Initiative is still out there - what if they're patrolling?"

"No worries, mate."  Spike reached into a pocket and held up a hand-held radio.  "Soldier-boy had it in his jacket.  I'll know where they are."  Xander just stared for a moment, then he nodded.  Better they get Riley then Spike.  They probably won't torture Riley.

Although, if they did...   Xander pushed that not surprisingly soldier-generated thought away and focused on Spike again.

"Ok.  You know how to work it?"

"Sure."  Spike leaned down and kissed him, hard and deep and love and then he was up, moving fast.  In a few seconds he was gone.  Xander blinked after him, then stood up as well

"Guess we'd better go, Oz.  Anya - I'm glad you're - well, I'm glad we can be friends."

"Me too."  Anya held her hand up and Xander pulled her to her feet.  "You were my first friend here, Xander, when I lost my powers.  And you guys - "  she gestured to include Oz, "you guys treat me like...I'm one of you.  I can tell that the rest don't really like me."  Xander opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again.

"Yeah.  You're probably right.  But give them a chance, ok Anya?  They're just - human, you know?  They really are good people - good friends."  Anya smiled at him - smiled over at Oz.

"I'm with Spike, you know?  I like this world, even if it is hard to get along without my powers.  Although dog racing is very strange.  So I'll do what I can to help with the Hellmouth stuff.  I don't want Sunnydale to be sucked into a hell dimension - some of them are pretty horrible.  There's one that's always Tuesday.  Can you imagine?  Besides, there are many ways of making money and having orgasms that I haven't even explored yet."  Anya smiled and headed back inside.  Xander and Oz walked up the steps and out into the parking lot, making their way to Xander's truck.

"Everybody was pretty excited in there, when we left," Oz said, and Xander glanced back towards Giles' apartment.

"Yeah?  What about?"

"About Spike - about you.  Guess that whole performance tonight kinda - got 'em riled up.  And of course you taking sides... "  Oz didn't finish, but Xander knew exactly what he meant.  He unlocked the truck door and slid in - reached over and unlocked Oz's door.

"Well, too bad.  I'm not gonna even pretend to join the 'I hate Spike' club just to make them happy.  They're wrong, and I don't mind pointing it out.   I'm done with being the get-along guy."  Oz shrugged, not saying anything, and Xander drove out of the parking lot, thinking.  Very faintly, he could feel something from Spike - it felt gleeful and...hungry, somehow, and Xander wondered if he were fighting something.  Or feeding.  Xander looked over at Oz, who was staring out the window, one leg pulled up to his chest.

"Oz?  Did you mean it?  About...killing that soldier?  Any soldier?"  Oz looked over at him, then back out the window, his fingers tapping absently on his shin.

"Yeah, I did.  I feel like I want to.  If we were out patrolling, and we found a soldier...I don't know exactly what I'd do but I...feel...like I'd like to hurt him.  I don't know."  Oz sighed, and rested his chin on his knee.  "They wanted me to be an animal, Xander.  They wanted me to be some mindless, evil thing.  Something it was ok to hurt and hate.  When I - changed - when I was human... they wouldn't look at me.  They pretended I wasn't even there - talked like I couldn't hear them or...couldn't understand them.  They made me an animal so they could do whatever they wanted to me.  They - hurt me - so I'd change back. "  Oz's eyes had gone dark, and he seemed to curl in on himself, tucking down.  "When I found out I was a werewolf, and even when I might have killed someone - you guys all...  You treated me like a human, and you worked to figure it out - to fix it.  They just - wanted me to be a hostile.  They didn't care that I was mostly Oz."  Oz's fingers had tightened on his leg, knuckles white, and after a moment Xander reached hesitantly over and put his hand on Oz's rigid shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Oz.  I'm so sorry."  He let his hand rest there a moment - squeezed the tensed muscle and let go.  The rest of the ride to the cemetery was silent, but it wasn't a bad silence.  Oz finally relaxed a little.

"I guess that's three of us that know now.  You think Anya will keep the secret?"  Xander blinked, surprised.  He hadn't really even considered it.

"I - dunno.  I hope.  I'm not really ready to face that, right now.  Not when everything is so... "

"Yeah...  I think she will.  She gets stuff more then everybody thinks.  I think she just likes to... keep people off balance."

"I think you're right."  Xander found a place to park that wasn't too conspicuous and they walked in silence towards Spike's crypt - exchanged alarmed glances and started to run when they heard the sounds of fighting.  They rounded the Robinson memorial and skidded to a stop.  Spike was fighting three fledges - and if the gleeful, fang-edged smile on his face meant anything, he was enjoying himself.  Xander and Oz settled on convenient tombstones and watched.  Spike's movements were liquid, graceful - and vicious, and Xander flinched a little at the blooming streaks and splotches of blood that were rapidly appearing on the clothes of all three of the fledges.  Xander couldn't tell if Spike was using his hands or a weapon - wasn't sure he wanted to know.  

Fuck.  Glad he's on my side.  He's...scary.

Ours.  Never hurt us     Xander wondered what made the hyena so certain of everything.  It was nice to have that kind of confidence somewhere inside himself, but a little weird when it vied with his own insecurities.   Spike noticed them and in a flurry of moves faster then Xander could track, all three fledges were dust, eddying down to the ground in swirling clouds.  Spike tossed his stake into the air and caught it - tucked it away.  Xander noticed a knife in his other hand - realized it was the straight razor that Spike carried.   Is that better or worse then hands?   Xander shivered a little at the thought of that surgically sharp blade slicing into flesh.  

"All relaxed and ready to patrol, then?"  Xander asked, standing up as Spike sauntered over, tucking the razor away.  The demon features sank away, giving over to the human ones and Spike swept Xander up in a hard embrace, kissing him with an intensity that took Xander's breath away.  The mortal pressed as close as he could to the hard, cool body, feeling the sizzle of desire start in his belly.   Want you love you want   and Spike groaned into his mouth, groin to groin and hardness to hardness.  Xander finally pulled away, smiling, conscious of Oz and where they were.

"Mmmm.  Not relaxed at all, pet."  Spike kissed down his throat and nibbled at the bite mark.  "Fix that soon enough."

"Hmm, yeah -"   Spike stiffened suddenly, and pushed Xander away, head up and scenting, the demon back in seconds.  He stalked over to his old crypt and kicked the door in, then disappeared inside.

A moment later he came out, cradling a limp body.  It was a girl - nobody Xander knew - college age.  Her clothes were torn, and her throat, and she lolled in Spike's arms, eyes glassy, her lips blue-tinged and smeared with blood.  Oz moved towards them, his hand going out to the girl.

"Is she alive?"  Xander whispered, and Spike looked down at her.

"For about another minute.  She's bled out, pet."

"We gotta - gotta get her to -"

"Xander."  Spike's tone stopped him - his look.  He looked - disgusted.

"What?  Spike, we have to -"

"No, love.  She's bled out.  She's fed.  She'll be a fledge by tomorrow."  Oz's hand dropped, and he stepped away.

"What do we do?" Oz asked, quiet, and Spike looked back at the girl.

"Gits.  They could barely fend for themselves and they're turnin' whatever comes their way.  I'm surprised it even worked.  The blood's thin, around here.  Too many minions makin' minions..."

"Spike," Xander said, and Spike stopped talking and looked at him.   "What do we do with her?"

"Usual.  She's turned enough, a stake'll finish it."  Spike lay her down on the ground - dipped his hand into his coat and found his stake.  A moment later the girl brown hair, dolls' eyes, tan skin  was gone and Spike was brushing at his duster.  Xander sighed, and looked over at Oz.

"Guess we'd better patrol, huh."  Oz nodded, looking at the space where the girl had been.  

"Yeah - go from here over to the Bronze and back?"

"Ok."  Spike had gone back into the crypt and now he emerged, stuffing something into his pocket.  "What'cha got, Spike?"

"Oh, they had a bit a dosh lyin' about - might as well take it.  Ready, then?"

"Yeah.  Ready."  Xander fell into step with Oz, and Spike slipped his arm around Xander's waist, tugging him close.

"She was already gone, love.  Nothing you could do.  Don't fret, eh?"  Xander looked over at him - saw dark eyes and so-perfect face - felt love you safe  like a warm breeze through his soul.  He nodded, and they walked in silence for a while, the only sound the steady whisper of static from the Initiative radio Spike had somewhere in his duster.  Xander felt questions crowding behind his teeth - knew he had to ask some of them - one of them - or scream.  He took a deep breath, and felt Spike's fingers tighten for a moment on his waist.

"You're gonna ask about that soldier, aren't you pet."  Spike said, and his voice was low - tense -and there was a brief skitter of fear  from the link, then nothing.

"Yeah."  Xander sighed - stopped walking and turned, resting his hands on Spike's shoulders.  "What killed him, Spike?"  Spike's own hands had gone to Xander's hips, and they tightened there for a moment.  Spike's blue eyes were half-lidded, speculative.  As if weighing his response.  

Truth   Xander thought, and Spike nodded slowly.

"Put one a those nails into him - through his skull.  Right where...  Well, you know where."  Xander held Spike's gaze as long as he could, then he glanced away, shivering.  Oz was sidling back, step by step.

"Oz.  It's ok.  You need to be here, too.  You've kind of - thrown in with us, you're - pack.  It's ok."  Oz nodded and settled on a tilting tombstone, stake idly turning in his hands.   Xander took a hard breath and turned back to Spike, the link oddly silent.  He tentatively sent love you  and got a flood back; relief, fear, anger, love.  Xander kneaded Spike's shoulders through the duster, the leather creaking softly.  "Ok.  You got one - did something really nasty to him.  Are - are the rest going to be like that?"

"Probably."  Spike looked at him, and reached up to touch Xander's lips, so gently.  "But maybe not.  I was - when I found him, that soldier - he almost had me.  Those damn tazer things of theirs, they're wicked, love.  But I got him, in the end, and I was gonna - was gonna nail him up and leave him, is all.   I've never really been one for...   But I - started remembering."  Spike shivered suddenly, and Oz shifted on his macabre seat, tense.

"Remembering what, love?"  Spike took in a hard breath and glanced over at Oz.

"Just - what they did.  I kinda...got lost, for a bit.  An' then he was dead."  Spike slid his fingers up under Xander's shirt, caressing his back.  "I don't like to lose control like that.  It...scares me.  I never did that before."  Xander kissed him gently, just slowly re-learning the cool cave of his mouth; smoke and spice, and blood   Xander pulled away, and looked at him.   Truth, remember?  Vampire-truth.  And werewolf-truth.  They both want to kill what hurt them.   The hyena does - some part of me...does.

"Ok.  Fuck, Spike.  I know you have to do this.   I love you.  Be careful.  If he'd gotten you with that tazer…"  

"All right, pet.  All right."   need you mine love you   A long moment of silence, just being close, then Xander gave Spike a last kiss and pulled back.

"You too, Oz.  Be careful.  I don't know what your - plans are, regarding the Initiative, but you don't get to play John Wayne either."  Oz nodded at him, a small smile on his lips.  "Now it's time to save the city of Sunnydale from inept evil and smelly demons.  You game?"   Xander asked, grinning at Spike and the demon grinned back.  Oz howled, the sound strange and shivery coming out of his human mouth.  Spike roared, a cry that boomed and echoed away across the cemetery.  Faintly, something roared back, and Spike laughed.

"Our next kill awaits, gentlemen."  They grinned at each other and started towards the sound, an easy lope, elbows and shoulders brushing occasionally.  Oz shifted into the wolf a little so he could make wolf-on-the-hunt sounds; yips and snarls that Spike answered.

Hunt!   The hyena was ecstatic, and from somewhere, a memory welled up, and Xander lifted his chin and made the whooping, nerve-scraping ululation of the hyena.   Pack.  Finally   He looked over at Spike - at Oz, at supernatural creatures who were...   Family   came from Spike, and Xander whooped again.   Family

15 Mercy

God, I hate this place Xander shifted uneasily, watching Buffy and Colonel McNamara argue in vicious whispers about the Adam project. Which the Colonel obviously knew nothing about. He also seemed disproportionately horrified by Giles' holdall full of magical supplies. Jesus. This man is a moron. Who put him in charge? Giles was looking more pissed off by the moment, and Willow more nervous. Just as Xander was going to say something to her, the power went out. They all froze, and in the bluish-white wash of the emergency lights, the Colonel looked truly spooked. A technician frantically tapped codes into a keypad, finally giving up in frustration and muttering 'we're locked out'. McNamara seemed to finally gather his wits; he snapped orders, shot Buffy a venomous glare and then he and most of his troops were gone. The two soldiers left to guard them looked nervous as hell, and Buffy had them unconscious on the floor in moments. Willow dove for a computer terminal Thank god for backup generators and started calling up schematics to the underground warren. Xander felt the sweat collecting along his hairline and trickling down his back, slicking his palms. It was making the stock of his rifle slippery, and he hoped he wouldn't have to actually use it - he might drop it, he was so nervous. Wish Spike were here. Where... He sent a questing tendril of thought out along the link, hoping for a response, but Spike was blocking him - or too far away. Somewhere with Adam, getting the Frankentronic creature's "ultimate soddin' plan" going.

"They've got every door locked open - except for the exits..." Willow murmured, frowning. On a security monitor, Xander suddenly realized that the cells the 'hostiles' had been held in were open, and that hell was literally breaking loose in the Pit. Xander nudged Giles, pointing with his chin towards the monitor, and Giles grimaced.

"Found it!" Willow crowed, and in minutes they were moving. Out in the Pit it was chaos - worse then what the monitors had shown by far. The space boiled with demons and soldiers, all of them fighting at a desperate pitch, and something was on fire somewhere, acrid smoke billowing up to the ceiling. Suddenly Xander felt careful and he turned and saw Spike vaulting over a railing, bypassing the stairs. The vampire dodged a soldier, snapped the neck of a warty demon and bounded up to the group.

"Got your secret hideaway all picked out then?" he asked, and Xander grinned at him. A soldier let loose a spray of bullets and Buffy tackled Willow to the ground, rolling them both over and over. Xander ducked down as well and watched in amusement as Giles clocked a demon across the face with some item of magical paraphernalia - he was pretty sure it was the magical gourd that had so horrified the Colonel.

"Here!" Buffy yelled, and flung open door 314. They piled in, and Xander and Spike stood for a moment by the door, out of sight to those inside, watching the riot.

"I'll keep you safe, love," Spike whispered, shrugging out of his duster. "You keep that safe for me, right?"

"R-right," Xander stuttered, and suddenly he was being kissed, cool lips and tongue frantically claiming his, and love you safe mine Xander put his hand to Spike's neck and pulled him closer, and then they were breaking the kiss, panting, and Xander crushed Spike's duster to him. "You - you be safe safe careful you hear?" A body rocketed past them and then spun around, catching itself up short and it was Oz, halfway to wolf; claws and fangs and sleek russet fur and eyes as black as tar. Oz grinned and yipped a high-pitched howl that Spike answered, that roaring cry that echoed across the Pit and made everyone - everything - pause for a split second.

"Go love, they'll miss you." Spike pushed at Xander, pushing him back through the doorway, and Xander watched as he and Oz plunged into the fray. The first thing Spike took down was a soldier. Spike grabbed - punched - and then the soldier was falling away, chest gaping open, and Spike was hurling the mass of muscle and blood in his hand to the floor, turning to the next live body. His heart. That was the soldier's heart. Oh fuck. Xander slammed the door - manhandled a gurney across it and turned to see Willow and Giles kneeling on the floor, hastily setting up the circle, putting spell components in little clumps. Buffy was standing by another door, ready to go.

"What the hell was that sound?" she said, and Xander shrugged.

"There's a lot of big stuff out there. I saw Spike - he's gonna make sure nothing gets in here."

"He'd better. I'm going, Giles."

"Give us five minutes, Buffy, ok?" Willow looked up from a bowl of - something - and Buffy nodded.

"Right. Barricade this when I get in." Then she was gone, slipping away, and Xander pushed a shelving unit back across the door, wedging it as best he could in the narrow space. The hyena longed to join the fight, and Xander tried to soothe it, telling it they'd fight another way. The hyena was not happy. Xander propped his rifle against the wall and settled cross legged on the floor.

Willow began to chant while Giles mixed various things, and Xander simply waited, eyes closed, feeling Spike - feeling a gleeful rage, feeling strength that he'd never imagined, and a sort of wicked joy. No fear. He doesn't feel any fear - at all

Suddenly Xander felt something - else. Warmth and light, silence. The spell.

He hastily shut down the link to Spike and concentrated. Something... girltouch redhair powerpowerpower surged through him, and hard after that he felt darkman fatherfighterteacher demonkiller and shuddered as Giles' power swirled over him. They seemed to float for a long moment, and then the sensation of movement - of light - and suddenly there was Adam, and Riley - what the hell is he doing here? another soldier - two white-coated doctors. But they were wrong somehow, all of it was wrong, like looking through the thick end of a glass bottle. And then Slayer slammed through him, and that was eternal and that was bloodandbones and that was lonelylonelylonely and Xander felt himself gasping for breath, somewhere far away - gasping and shivering but holding tight.

He felt the soldier react - surging up to push knowledge and courage into the vessel, the hand. And the hyena whooped, lending bloodbloodblood to the cresting wave of energy and perception. Xander could feel Willow - Giles - beside him, in him, and he could feel the three of them pouring everything they had into Buffy. Things got - bright.

Xander could see the magic - lines of force and energy that curdled around the wrong that was Adam and the dead figures on the floor. Then they were moving and then there was heat and something - a different, rawer power that pulsed with a blinding light in my their Buffy's hand.

With a look, an easy breath, that spot of sun-bright poison was banished, pushed into a ripple of otherwhere and gone. The lump of black and green-red rot wrongness that was Adam crumpled and fell away. We her me stood for a long moment, seeing the Riley soldier, with bright red, glittering life spilling down his chest. And then blackness rushed in and they were back, settling into their bodies with a jolting tingle as if they had fallen from some height. Xander blinked, staring dazedly at Giles - at Willow. They stared back, and then Giles was looking towards the secret room, towards where Buffy was, and Willow was saying Wow and the outer door exploded inwards.

Something was there - darklife bloodlust and then it was stumbling, crumpling, and Spike took its place, streaked with blood and ichors, panting, game-face. He was darklife as well, but also olderthan chaos malice lovelovelove Xander pushed the heels of his hands hard into his eyes and then it was just Spike, and he felt the last bit of the spell wisp away into nothingness as Buffy and Riley heaved open the other door and staggered in.

Riley was all bloody down his chest and hands, and Buffy looked like she'd been in a whirlwind. Willow and Giles were struggling up, and Xander did too, holding out his hand to Willow, grinning at her like an idiot and love you love you safe coming in hard from Spike. He looked over at the vampire, nodded once, pushing back love you love you and Spike grinned and darted out again, into the ringing, blue-washed blackness of the Pit.

"We gotta help - whoever's left out there," Buffy panted, and they gathered themselves; Riley grabbing up Xander's abandoned gun, Giles hastily stuffing components and other detritus into the holdall.

Willow staggered, holding her head, and Xander grabbed her, folding Spike's duster over his arm, holding it close to his body.

"Let's just get the hell out of here. Is there a way to open an exit from here? We can just grab whoever we see on our way out." Xander had no desire to 'muster the troops' or whatever Buffy might have in mind.

"That sounds reasonable," Giles said, and he turned to Riley, who was frowning.

"I don't know about any overrides on the exits - maybe Willow ...?"

"Yeah, I'm - I'm on it, guys. Get me back to that other room, I can do that." Xander got an arm around Willow and they all sidled out into the Pit. It was - horrifying. Blood, body parts, innards - it was a slaughterhouse, and almost impossible to tell the human dead from the demon. Willow gasped, putting a hand over her mouth, and Giles muttered something under his breath that sounded like good lord. The stench was incredible, the noise deafening. Something came at them, yipping, and Xander lunged and knocked Riley's arm aside, batting at the rifle barrel.

"Don't! It's Oz!" Xander yelled, and Riley shot him an incredulous look but pointed the rifle to the floor. Oz circled them, half-human, then more human, panting and wide-eyed, spattered with gore. He hadn't changed fully into the wolf, but his clothes were still torn from the shifts. He hitched unconsciously at jeans that had split along one seam, exposing a pale hip-bone.

"Get up there - second level - there's an entrance. It's where we came in - it's clear, comes out on campus. We blocked it open. Go!" He morphed back, snout and fangs but still on two feet, and pounced on something scaly that was heading for the stairs.

"Oh my god! Oz! Is he gonna be ok?" Willow's eyes were huge in startlement and shock, and Xander pulled her into a stumbling walk.

"Yeah - he'll be fine. He wanted to kick some ass, too. He came in with Spike."

"Where is Spike?" Giles panted, grabbing the rail and beginning to climb the stairs. Xander knew exactly where he was - behind, left - but he made a show of looking around. Saw him, as the vampire leapt onto the back of a Fyarl demon and started twisting it's head off. Xander nudged Giles and pointed.

"Look - he's killing one of your cousins." Giles shot him an irritated look and Xander just grinned. Whatever had caught fire was still burning and the smoke was thicker, tinged with the reek of burning plastics and insulation. It was nauseating. Xander noticed that what was left of the demons and the humans were starting to form ranks and maybe even organize, and he sent home home home at Spike, hoping he'd get out before he got recognized. Spike wrenched the demon's head around and looked up at him, then he looked around and dove off to one side. A moment later he and Oz were dodging bodies and knots of battling figures, heading towards them through the smoky murk. The stairs rang as Spike leaped, half the flight in one go. Oz was edging towards more human then wolf and he pushed past, getting up ahead of Buffy and Riley and beckoning them on, showing the way.

"All the bad guys dead, all the good guys unhurt then?" Spike asked, and Xander almost laughed at the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. "I take it the spell worked, Red?" Willow shot an amazed glance at Spike and then a huge smile stretched across her face.

"Oh, it was amazing! It was just - I could feel Xander and Giles right next to me! Well, sort of next to me, sort of inside, only not inside, if you know what I mean and then we were whoosh and then we were Buffy and then..." Willow babbled on, panting, climbing, and Xander grinned at her and dropped back half a step, Spike's hand on the small of his back, just a moment's pressure and love you love you

They came out in a wooded area of campus, fairly dark, behind one of the dorms. Willow was still babbling, bouncing, and generally acting as if she'd drunk a triple espresso, and Giles and Buffy were much the same, comparing notes on how the spell had felt and Buffy reassuring Giles that Adam was dead. Xander felt the adrenal-laced tension in his own body - he wanted to run or fight or fuck or something, just to get it all out. Behind them something rustled, creaked - something came out of the concealed hatchway they'd just exited and Spike pounced, pulling a draggled, bloodied figure out into the light. The person cringed, raising shaking hands up before his face, a warding gesture that made Spike snarl.

"Lab rat," he said, and shook the figure.

"I remember you," Buffy said, stepping closer, a stake appearing in her hand. "You were with Sunday's gang."

"Please - please help me..." the boy moaned, and Spike laughed.

"You got out - help yourself, wanker." Spike shoved him roughly, and the boy - vampire - stumbled to one knee.

"Please. I can't. They put - put something in m-me, I - it won't let me ch-change. It won't let me change." They all stood there, staring at the boy as he struggled to his feet, hands held out to them in supplication. weak kill it was coming from Spike, and the hyena agreed. Sick ones die

"What do you mean, you can't change. Do you mean - your demonic aspect?" Giles was looking at the boy with a narrow-eyed, speculative look, and the vampire licked his lips, eyes darting from Giles to Buffy and then to Spike.

"Yeah. My o-other face. If I try to ch-change, it hurts. H-hurts so bad."

"There's your precious Initiative, Riley." Xander muttered, and Riley shot him a dark look. Somewhere behind him, Xander could feel Oz shivering - could hear small whines of anger or distress that the werewolf couldn't contain.

"What do you want," Spike asked, and the boy looked at him, his eyes wide and full of hate and fear and desperation.

"Just - would you...please, would you end it? Just k-kill me. I can't... " His voice broke and he covered his face with his hands, struggling for control.

"Not a problem," Buffy said, stepping up, her arm going up, and Spike rounded on her, snarling.

"Fuck off. You don't end this for him - he's got a right to something better." Buffy's eyes were wide and startled, but she looked from Spike to the shivering boy and backed off, her arm falling down at her side.

"Fine. You do what you want. He's harmless, at least, so it doesn't matter what happens to him. I just want to go home. Come on, Riley." She turned on her heel and walked swiftly away, and Riley was right behind her. Willow clutched Xander's hand in hers, wide-eyed.

"What - what are you gonna do, Spike?" she whispered.

"Help him," Spike said. He looked around at them, grim-faced, and then the demon was there, and he turned back to the boy. Rage had replaced the feelings of disgust, and Xander shivered. Oz came up on his other side, and Xander reached out and put his hand gently on Oz's shoulder for a moment. Oz glanced at him, then away, back to what Spike was doing.

Spike stepped up to the vampire and pulled him close - murmured something in the boy's ear, so soft, and the other nodded. Then Spike was bending to him and the boy was lifting his chin, eyes closed, and Spike was biting him - drinking him dry. As the vampire's life ran out into Spike's mouth, Xander felt it - a surge of energy and magic, ephemeral and sorrow fear lost oh lost that made him gasp in a breath. He realized he'd bitten his lip through and licked it gingerly. Spike lifted his head and let out a keening wail that made all of them shiver, and Willow's hand in Xander's clenched down so tight he flinched. Then suddenly the boy was dust, collapsing in Spike's arms and gone, and Spike was slapping at his clothes, pointedly not looking at any of them.

"I think - I think it's time we went home, don't you, Willow? Tara and - and Anya will be..." Giles' voice was strained, and Xander saw some expression - surprise, maybe - before Giles schooled his features back to neutrality.

"Uh - yeah. Home. That'd be...of the good. I don't think I'm gonna sleep for a week." Willow turned to Xander and gave him a hug, and Xander felt girltouch redhair again, her power back to the low and elusive hum he was used to. It had been - amazing, having Willow right there. Almost like when they were just kids, sitting under the covers in Willow's bed with a flashlight, Willow and Xander and Jesse; telling each other their deepest lies and darkest secrets and fondest dreams. Then she was slipping away, and telling Oz goodnight, and Giles was there, the faintest tang of demonkiller still coming off him, dark but also somehow glowing at the edges. Just for a moment. And then he was only Giles, pushing his glasses back up and settling the strap of the holdall more comfortably across his shoulder.

"Xander - I would...I would very much like to speak to you about what we did, tonight. We're going to Buffy's house, a kind of...debriefing with popcorn. Are you coming?" Xander looked at him, and felt want from Spike, and saw Oz studying his gory hands, so silent all this time, and he shook his head.

"No, I think - I just want to go home, Giles. I'll come around tomorrow after work maybe, ok? I'll call you." Giles just looked at him, his gaze steady and absolutely blank, and then he blinked and glanced at Oz - at Spike.

"All right, Xander. I'll expect to hear from you. Goodnight. Oz." He turned and marched off, Willow trotting along in his wake, and Xander sighed, his shoulders slumping. Spike was suddenly there, pulling him close, burrowing his face into Xander's neck and inhaling, scenting. Xander did the same, unmindful of the gore that streaked Spike's clothes, wanting only this, only Spike, want you need you as hard as he could, and Spike's arms tightened around him and cool lips kissed Xander's throat, his jaw.

"Want you too," Spike breathed in his ear, and they stood there for another moment until Xander remembered Oz, and where they were, and reluctantly pulled back.

"Let's go home, ok?" he whispered, and Spike's eyes flashed gold at him, and the vampire nodded, sweeping his duster up from the ground where Xander had unknowingly dropped it. He tossed it over his shoulder and moved around Xander to drop an arm over Oz's shoulders, hugging him close.

"You did good, wolfling. Saw you bring down your share a those bastards. Feelin' all right?" Oz shrugged, eyes intent on the ground, then he looked up at Spike - over at Xander.

"I didn't think I could do it - kill a human. But, being there - it was..." Oz trailed into silence, and Xander and Spike shared a look, and sorrow came from Spike.

"You gonna be ok, Oz?" Xander asked softly, and Oz shrugged again. When he spoke his voice was barely above a whisper - choked with emotion.

"I don't think... Not really. Not for a long time - maybe not ever. But...it helped."

Helped that he killed them. Killed humans - other men. And woman - those doctors. His choice, his...revenge. I would have too, probably - I DID want to be out there. Part of me did. Xander started walking - they all did, headed towards Lowell house where they'd left their vehicles and snuck into the Initiative.

"You know - the hyena really wanted to be out there with you. It was kinda pissed when I told it no."

"Super-Slayer spell not really enough for it, huh?" Spike asked, and Xander smiled a little.

"It was ok, actually, once we got it going. It was - pretty strange. Feeling those guys - Willow and Giles and then Buffy. I could feel...what I've only seen before. It was...amazing. Kinda scary." They walked in silence for a few more minutes, and then Xander looked over at Spike.

"Do you think - the Initiative is through? I mean, after that, they can't go on, can they?"

"Who knows? Bloody fools. They were stupid enough to do this in the first place... But probably they'll be out of here now. Losses were too high, I imagine - it'll be hard to cover this up. Don't fret, love. I reckon we've seen the last of them." safe safe now and Spike's gaze steady and serious. Xander sincerely hoped so. They walked on, Spike's arm cool and possessive around Xander's waist, his other still over Oz's shoulders, holding the shorter man close. Oz's arm had slipped around Spike's waist, below Xander's and Xander noticed that - noticed, and considered it, and decided that it was all right. He didn't feel any jealousy, or uneasiness. It just felt...

Pack. No harm the hyena said, and that feeling of being in a den, in a nest, came over him and he nodded to himself. Pack. It was all good.

By the time they got home, the edgy adrenaline rush was fading, and Xander felt as if lead weights had been attached to his limbs. They all wearily walked around to the back of the house, going in the bathroom door so that Oz and Spike could strip and clean up without trailing anything nasty through the house. Xander lit some candles, their soft glow relaxing him further, and went to get clean clothes for the others. He found flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt for Oz, then hesitated over Spike's drawer, wondering what the vampire would want. He heard the shower start, and glanced back toward the bathroom. Spike was standing in the doorway, nude body dappled with blood both human and demon. Even his hair was matted with it, and Xander felt a tugging on his throat as drying matter pulled the skin there - something smeared on him when Spike had kissed him.

"What do you want to wear, Spike? Jeans?"

"Can I - have a pair of your sweats, pet? Want something - "

"Comfy?" Xander grinned, and Spike ducked his head, looking up at him through his lashes and smiling that small, real smile that made Xander want to kiss him into breathing.

"Yeah, comfy." Xander pulled out an old pair of dark grey sweats and one of Spike's t-shirts. He took the pile of clothes into the bathroom, skirting around Spike with an exaggerated 'eewww' face and piling the clothes on the toilet tank.

"There you go." Xander looked at Spike, and Spike looked back, cocking his head to one side, just smiling. Happy. He looks happy.

"So - you got 'em, huh? A bunch of those soldiers - the doctors. You get 'em all?"

"All I could find, pet. Got a good number. The wolf got a few. They were as panicky as a virgin on a troop ship - it wasn't too hard."

"So is it...over? Are you done with the Initiative?" Spike's eyebrow went up, and he took a step closer to Xander, glancing over at the steam-fogged cubicle of the shower.

"I dunno, love. If I see any more of them out and about - I imagine I'll do for 'em. But I think they'll be pullin' out now. Doubt I'll get anymore chances. I imagine soldier-boy will tell us what's what, in a day or so."

"Yeah, I imagine." Xander picked up his washcloth and dampened it under the faucet - wiped at the smear of blood stuff on his neck and jaw. "Just don't... " Xander tossed the washcloth towards the washing machine, avoiding Spike's gaze.

"Don't what, love?"

"Don't... I'm just worried, is all. I don't want you hurt." Xander finally looked at Spike, frowning a little, and Spike looked back, serious now and yours coming softly through the link. "If Riley finds out about what you did, tonight, he could...well, he could try, and even if he didn't hurt you, he'd know... Just, be careful love. All right?" Spike came up close to him - brought his face so close to Xander's, lips just millimeters from Xander's mouth. Xander shivered at the proximity - the cool, smoke-tinged breath that Spike pushed gently across his skin.

"Don't worry 'bout me, love. I'm gonna be careful. You'll see." Spike very gently, very carefully kissed Xander on the lips, not letting any other part of him touch the mortal, and Xander kissed him back - pulled away finally, and smiled into the clear blue eyes that could so easily captivate him.

"Trust you." love you need you

"Thank you, pet," Spike murmured, and love love you mine Xander looked at Spike for a moment longer, then stepped around him and headed into the bedroom. He took off the soldier gear and put on sweats and a t-shirt, then went into the kitchen and grabbed a soda out of the 'fridge. so tired He headed for the living room and collapsed on the couch. He took a long drink, turned the TV on and started flicking through the channels. Amazing how crappy even this many channels can be was the last thing that went through his mind, and then he was asleep, drifting down into a strange other place.

His father was trying to kill him. Xander struggled, gasping, trying to fend off the blows - trying to get away. His father was screaming - his eyes were blazing with hate and anger. Xander had never seen him so angry - so out of control. Then suddenly it wasn't his father, it was something - else. Something dark, something bloodandbones and he was contorting in agony as the dark thing tore into his chest - tore out his heart and he was falling, down his stairs, heading for the concrete at the bottom and blood was arcing away from his body, painting the dark thing with slashes of crimson, spattering on the walls. Xander screamed, trying to stop his fall, knowing he was dead, I'm dead, tore out my heart but still trying to stop his tumble down splintering wooden risers. It's gonna hurt, to hit the bottom, oh god it's gonna hurt Someone was yelling at him.

"Xander - XANDER! Wake up, pet, wake up, wake up." The voice battered at him, too loud, too fearful sharp, and he moaned and pushed weakly at whatever it was that was holding him - shaking him.

"Xander! Come on love, wake up now, wake up, just a dream need you need you come back Xander gasped in a great, whooping breath, clawing at the arms holding him, desperate for breath, for something to ease the burning fading pain in his chest. He opened his eyes, panting, and Oz was there, wide-eyed, holding a towel in one hand, looking utterly freaked. Xander breathed, breathed - realized it was Spike holding him tight against a cool chest, arms wrapped around him, lips in his hair as the vampire crooned into his ear, quiet now, so soft.

"Come on, love, that's it now, you're awake, just a dream, love, wake up now, just a dream, I've got you, pet, I've got you." Spike was rocking him, stroking his sweat-damp hair back from his forehead, and Xander finally relaxed. He blinked and swallowed, then tried to talk. All that came out was a sort of croak, and Oz was up and out of his line of sight, sound of the 'fridge opening and then he was back, a glass of water in his hand, holding it up to Xander's mouth. Xander tried to take it - to do it himself, but his hands were shaking and totally limp, and he surrendered to it and let Oz tilt the glass to his lips and sipped at the cold wonderful water. After a minute he was done, and Oz set the glass on the coffee table, smiling just a little, his eyes still wide, his hair damp from the shower.

"You ok, Xander?"

"I - " Xander coughed, swallowed, tried again. "I think so. I - what happened? I fell asleep out here and then...I was...my dad was... " He stopped, the images too clear, too ugly, and Spike hugged him hard, tugging him around so that he could look at Xander. Oz put the towel on the floor, picking up Xander's fallen soda can, mopping spilled soda.

"Just a dream, love. You feel ok?" Spike's eyes were as wide and freaked as Oz's, and Xander felt a little flutter of fear down in his belly.

"I'm fine, I guess. What's the deal? I've had nightmares before - why are you guys all..." Xander waved his hands loosely, trying to explain. "Why are you guys all wigged out?" Spike kissed his forehead, cheek, then lips, quick and soft, his hand trembling on Xander's shou